Cute Life™

Network Gurning

2011-03-08T21:44:00.003Z

Hi there.

We been busy lately, and when I say we, I mean the many different personas which I am currently having to balance @ work.

I never knew that speaking to so many different people professionally can have such a hugely exhausting effect! Perhaps I can assume from this that I quite haven't found a natural way to be myself and help potential clients with their needs.

I can keep trying for now though.

First things first - I thought that I knew what my own personal USP was (unique selling point).... it turns out that this is not what I should be most concerned about. It turns out that I should be most concerned with finding out what I am all about first, before I try and service the needs of others.

Done for now.

How to kill the night

2010-12-23T19:51:00.002Z

Been a great few months. Starting a new job with more emphasis on my creative side... design and business related. My new employers have invested in my potential to do well for them and myself.

I am getting the best experiences at no cost to me.

With a mind full of potential new ideas to digest and curious teasers for my future - I launched myself into the night, running shoes on and snow under foot.

Well merry christmas to those who stumble across my little blog, and a happy newyear.

Creative Interlude X?

2010-10-23T14:02:00.007+01:00

I haven't been paying attention to the number of interludes which I have written to date - so I apologise if this is a repeat number.

Just checked and infact it is creative interlude VII - which doesn't seem like an awful lot really. I feel that I have give a lot more creativity.... nevermind.

Creative Interlude VII

A dark shadow cast long and clingy,
Straight and contoured to an imperfect finish,
Removed by shallow wisps of a crisp and clean winter sky,
Only to re-ignite upon a whim or wind driven spout.
A layered existence which brings joy to my eyes,
Is not random, is re-visited and returns.
Blotched fingers faded and vibrating subtley,
Animated and with personality they appear to me,
Beyond the apple tree.

Cuba 2010

Gloss and Floss

2010-08-14T17:40:00.005+01:00

Been reading. Again.

Ressurecting my intensive deep thoughts on the environment I exist does not take long nowadays - it's a constant bookmark in my life.

I have realised that I inflict my friends, bending the ears of anyone who will listen to my rants and misunderstandings of why, how, what and the happily ever after...this is part down to me not writing about what it is on my mind. Like here and now.

Just resisted the temptation to type 'crazy', because this is what I have been saying lots recently. I guess it has become a word that I use to cover up not only my disbelief at what has just happened (or occurring), but my genuine stupidity at not knowing what to say next... so it comes out. I know this is a bit random, but I need to purge myself of some of these innane thoughts which have been bothering me before I can rest on something meaningful.... here it comes.

Nothing. That's better.

If I were to write a list of things which I need to improve upon in my life, personality and general well being, then I think it would go on for ever... is this normal? Does simply talking about it and not doing anything about it make me feel better? Temporarily it does - long term though I am willfully ignoring the obvious signs of a person in distress.

You know what, I have just realised that I do not understand what it is I am doing or meant to do unless either I hear myself say it - or write it down for me to read back. I regurgitate it like this is all my own idea! Like I could ever come up with something that useful! :-(

I read, I watch, I listen, I experiment and experience. Yet I cannot put my finger on where in my life that I change from being the man 'inflicted' by indescision and poor life choices to the guru who feel the need to deal out advice and life changing philosophies.

Perhaps I have cleared enough space for me to write a poem or do something creative now - let's see.

Breaking in my sea legs - not my neck

2010-01-31T11:11:00.002Z

Hey Bloggers.

Feeling real stiff all over my body today due to some indoor 'real snow' freestyle boarding shinnanegans on Friday evening. I arrived at the snow centre early and gathered alongside a number of others looking to do the same.

I went on my own, but there were groups and other individuals togging up and strutting their stuff around changing area.

I avoided the freestyle park for about 45mins, then decided to hit up their rather large kickers. First time I have done anything quite so big! Landing is a pain if you haven't launched correctly. I managed to grab the board a few times and land on the down slope.

All in all a great eveing out! DJ was doing his thang and I landed on my neck without any major injury concerns... some guy scooted over to me afterwards as he had his mobile out ready to call in the ambulance. Apparently it looked quite nasty. It was.

Looking forward to hitting the slope up again verrrry soon :-)

Cubola

Spot Attack

2010-01-26T21:50:00.006Z

Yes, YES! A spot. You know what that means? STRESSSSssss!!! All you people out there causing my stress and agro are giving me spots! It could be the last few seshs in the steam room which are cleaning out my extraodrinarily large pores... but I prefer to blame everyone else.

You did it.

CAKAKa

Top Tips for organising short Snow Boarding Breaks

2010-01-23T18:06:00.011Z

Expansive issue this. I think you'll agree with that, otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question... "Gary, how do I organise a snow break wit me pals/partner/family (delete as appropiate) without wishing I was millionaire with more time on his/her hands than a tanning salon owner in Scotland?"

I got news for you - accept that it will cost you more per head, per day basis than booking a week long jaunt. Not hard to imagine really, but as there are less companies which will deal with those midweek or weekend deals than ones willing to package you up a full week long deal.. then premium rates need only apply.

This does not mean that you cannot do it cheaply! Not at all, you can cut corners and do the legwork yourself and save a hunner (£100) if you are lucky.

To be clear about the about the advice I am now about to offer, I am aiming this post at working boarders/skiers who want to reduce the amount of annual leave they spend. This maybe due to many different reasons, but my favourite one is so that you can squeeze in more time on the snow without lending your entire life over to gnarly surf [don't spell check me BLOGGER!] from Jan to April every year, and, AND still have holiday left to sun yourself with your significant other.

It's got to be cheap, uncomplicated, and awesome.

First things first, find yourself a snow loving mate, who is a control freak, passionate about doing a job well, naturally thick skinned and self centered. He or she will do all the seemingly never ending web searching, organising and admin bollox. This role is important, but not as important as good friends and good times though.

Next up you got to have the 'snow dawg'. The one person in your group who eveyone wants to riiiiide with. This person generally will not care too much about where it's going down or how much it'll cost. They live to surf. It may not be obvious at first as to why this lady/gentleman is important - but it will, trust me.

First stop - run a commercial package deal online. This will give you a flavour of the cost. It's a great point of reference to use when lots of other offers start coming in.

All-in prices are as follows (in general terms);

£250 - £400 (4nights) AWESOME!!
£400 - £500 (4nights) Yarp, surfs up.
£500 and above.... book a week man - DO IT!

As you can see from above, the price differences are tight. This is why it's important to do your homework. When us snow junkies say all-in, we mean covering ALLLLLL of the following;

Flights/Train tickets (both ways)
Transfers (both ways)
Kit hire OR kit carriage (both ways / all days)
Slope passes (Local only for now)
Taxes
Food (B&B/Full/Half Board)
Fu(k Factor (I'll explain this below)

Now, F.F. is not so important to everyone, but some of us are laydees when we go on hols. If you are smart, you'll know who they are in your group already. This is the emphasis placed on comfort of your holiday experience (transport mainly) vs. a raw 'hit'n split' mentality. When I say 'hit'n split' I mean driving/travelling an hour or more to the slopes and back to the hotel every day, in the name of having a good time.
For some people this crazy attitude does not constitute a good time. YOU NEED TO SET THESE RULES FIRST!

It the most part, a full squad of weekenders may not be in tow at this stage. Most will want others to do the leg work on prices and places first before they put forward their ideas forward too. This is where your bulldawg control freak earns their vin chaud credits. If you haven't realised this already... thats you. Yes YOU! No other person in your group would have read this posting for as long without the necessary need to do a proper job and commitment. So atleast you got your crazy control freak sorted and onboard....

Lets give you some tools to do your job now.

Run that web search on package deals. Add on all the extras which make the basis of the holiday and send it out to your chums. Suggest that they all do the same. As their deals come in, you can then talk about the next stage.
Why you going? Many, many reasons are good answers here - but be weary of those who answer with this; "I have never been there - so thats why I want to go there". The problem with this answer is that it can possibly cut out the rest of the group. It's a self indulgent request and will not help the group book. A good answer is, "This place has got great apres ski, thats why I like it". This answer gives you a response that you can work with. Therefore you can put a positive spin on your suggestions, by researching the cool spots to hit up in the resort ;-)
Hopefully the biggest reason for boarding together will be because you all love to hang with each other - and look forward to that. Next up is try becoming a member of a snowboarding forum. Thiese places are full of cool folk who LOVE their boarding and know an awful lot about where to go, what is cheap and how to enjoy yourself. Don't be afraid to quote them to your friends. They know their shit.
Once you have a couple of good options, then let the group think on it for a few days first, It's good to let eveyone do some final checks and hopefully before the prices begin rising, you'll have the lions share of the group booked. More importantly, get the snow dawg onboard. This guy/gal is the key to involving the party as a whole. If snow dawg is coming, then the snow party will definitely be a righteous one.

Right, I think thats all you need to get started. I cannot possibly offer up all my favourite deals to tease you and generally lord it over you... but the best bit of advice I can give you is, get a good group. Love the time spent with them, because when you are trying to spin a holiday for your buddies - the final speach that always gets the job done is sentimental crap spoken from the heart.

More gold dust from Cuba. Love me.

Karma Wrath

2010-01-21T22:39:00.003Z

Aye!

I did something today which I am not entirely sure as to whether or not I can count it as good karma... or baaaaad karma. You help me decide.

I was travelling into work, on the M25 carpark which we laughingly refer to as a motorway, and a guy cut across a couple lanes of slow moving traffic and finished directly infront of me.

Not a problem in itself, but then the guy wound down his window and emptied a clutch of cigarette ends onto the raod infront.

Now... I was p1$$ed off. I mean, what a tw@t. I memorised his car details, and went on my merry lil way. Once at work I reported his littering to that littering website - all his details. They don't have any powers to do much apart from add another name to a petition for the government to do something more about these truly pointless anti-social acts.

Tell me, was that a good thing to do or a bad and vengeful thing to do?

Guba

Creative Interlude VI

2010-01-19T22:35:00.002Z

First Attempt

Blurred star shards chequer through curtain and dirty pane,
coating rolled up bundles of randomly discarded skins.
The morning burns colourful, greyness and hazy rememberance,
beckoning a brief and dileberate counting of body parts.

A new mind taken into the day, cuddled by soft warm down,
daring the first uncomfortable decision to quit the womb.
Pull back, just once more the warmth, the repeated idiocy,
the evenings poison an ever present balloon of insurgency.

The god's have been summoned by pain alone, promises made,
they have heard, witnesses to the eves pageantry now lost.
Tighter are thoughts held in the soft shifting confusion,
long last the increased glow light reconstitutes reality.

Cuba

Tramp Hunter

2010-01-19T21:41:00.004Z

Hey, been a hectic day - plenty 'O work to do and not enough time. I won't bore you with that today though.

Popping into Oxford city centre whilst waiting for my next appointment, I hurried over to my favourite fast food shop - The Cornish Pasty shop on the High Street for a lunchtime filler.

Gorgeous.

I reccommend it to anyone vsiting Oxford who finds themselves out on the town and hungry.

Walking back to my car and scoffing my pasty, I was called to by a homeless dude, laying on the floor looking well sorry for himself. Pleading for some money. I don't like giving out money to street beggars most of the time, and told the geezer "No, sorry I couldn't help him" and carried on past. He called back to me asking for me to buy him a pasty too... so I readjusted my route to swing by the king of cornish pasty shops and buy the rascal his lunch. I couldn't turn down a request for some food could I?

I bought the pasty and headed over to where he lay, and he was gone! Couldn't believe it!

So I quickly walked around the city centre looking for him... nothing.. nowhere...no-one. Shame for him, bully for me coz I got my diner sorted too.

I'm pretty sure that doesn't count towards my karma credits as I didn't manage to deliver... I mean, I could have called back to him and told the fella to wait on, but I wanted to suprise him with some pure pasty gold. I'll keep looking for my karma credits this week..... who knows where they may be.

Kuba

Slippery when Snowy

2010-01-12T22:00:00.006Z

On the hunt for my karma credits this week still, unfortunately my bid for the mother load was immediately repaid by the gentlemanly geezer I helped out.

Travelling out in my nice new vehicle to complete a survey for work, I found myself on the wrong end of a slippery snow slope. My car buried itself in the snow in about 30seconds flat... seemingly never to move again.

While I was contemplating how long I could survive in the boot of my car (hopefully until spring), another car came past and got stuck too. Wheels spinning - going no where.

His car was lighter, and front wheel drive, so I figured if anyone was worth saving, then he was. I walked over introduced myself and offered to help him out. I was met with a cheery smile, a shovel and huge wads of appreciation. Nice fella - named Luke, works as a satellite dish fitter. He had been trying to get into the cul-de-sac since Christmas to sort out a students tele reception.. but snow had kept him at bay. Today was his first go at it - and now he was stuck like me.

We both dug each other out of the snowy prison - so no karma points for me, but I felt pretty good doing something nice for a random stranger and is fast becoming a new interest of mine.

...and this is the good part - it alllll seems to get reciprocated pretty fast... people are nice.

Gazza

For Shizzle...Shiver

2010-01-02T12:01:00.009Z

Yeah man. It's been fun this last few months - again with the changes, all pretty sweet.

Had a wicked crimbo and new year! Check out the photos.

You will be forgiven for thinking that I spent all the crimbo hols chilling and making snowmen, and why not - of course.

New house, new car, new priorities and new hope for a classic future. Let me see if I can relay some of that to you guys over the next few weeks :-)

Cuba out for now.

Oxford?

2009-07-10T07:30:00.003+01:00

16 months ago my pilgrimage across the South of England saw me putting down some roots in Oxford. Great place. Really. Always plenty to do and see, nice bars... nice people... nice roads... nice.

Things I have done whilst being here:

Started a new responsible job.
Moved in with my girl friend.
Started french lessons and finished them 5 months ago (need to get on it again).
Kept up my training and completed a 3 peaks challenge with work colleagues in 17hrs 43mins.
Completed 2 snowboarding videos, a trailer for our 3 peaks challenge and almost complete the ful video.
Ressurrected my scooter for city use.
Skated a class mini ramp on many a sunny Saturday afternoon.
Made a few new friends in the process...

Pretty boring update of my life I know, but it has to start somewhere.

On my mind:

Inventions. Once, not so long ago my mind was always a rush of new ideas and possible solutions to problems that we didn't even know we had.I have decided that it is time to organise them and consider turning them into something useful rather than day dreams and boozy rants.

CUba

Blimey!!

2008-02-12T10:56:00.000Z

Challenge update

With my £19 safely stowed away in my satchel I hurried home last evening with dreams of only spending £10 to feed myself for the week! A visit to Tescos saw me loose £6.76 for iogredients to cover me for 2 days of pork chops, veggies or chips and beans. Then I spent £4.30 on footie, £3.90 on a bottle of wine and 99p on a bag of grapes. Total spend of £11.65 and rather frustratingly, I only have £7.35 to my name...

I can't bloody well beleive it. How could I be such a waster on the first day!! It's only Tuesday!!

Not enjoying having to keep to such a tiny budget I unleashed my creativity again and tried think of ways of earning additional money to keep me going... and I reverted to poker... online.

Before collapsing into bed and crying myself to sleep... a hungry sleep. I popped online and gambled the last $15 (£7.35) and turned it into $80 (£40) in 2 hours. I would love to say that this was a enlightened idea to keep me in food - but I think I always had this in mind if i just couldn't hack living within a small budget. Well one thing I have learned is that I could support myself through this method if I was required to do so... I feel dirty though.

There we have it - £40 to my name and life is brill again.

G

Living on a wing and a prayer

2008-02-11T13:15:00.001Z

Yo! Just thought that I would stop by and unleash some news and fun onto my blog page once more (maybe twice). There has been many comments about my dissapperance from blog history just recently and I feel the need to off load... in the only way I know how.

I wish to point out that my life has not all of the sudden become so worthlessly boring and predictable that even a random surfer-by wounldn't find something mildly amusing about my inane ramblings and experiences... it's more to do with the media attention which many a good (and bad) blog site have been inflicted with. A few harsh stabs at us bloggers - demanding to be told the real incentive for us writing twoddle about our cruddy lives. It left me feeling a little bit shy and a tad angry.

Ok... today has been a wee bit infuriating - happily though it has left me with a rather interesting challenge which I am accepting with eagerness and hope. Can I possibly live for a week on £19.87p? I should explain why I only have £19.87p to my name until this Saturday evening shouldn't I...

It all started this morning when I cleverly left my wallet (with all my debit cards and ID) around my girl friends... 140 miles away. The car is in the garage and I shall not see her until Saturday evening. The only money I have to my name at home is a large bowl of change collected over the last few months. Instead of carrying around 3 kg of spare change everywhere - I decided to spend my first amount on taking the loose change to one of them cash counting machines. Wonderful devices - really. The machine goes through all your coins and issues you with a credit note minus some money for charity (7.9%). So my first payment was for £1.70p to a charity of their choice and I find myself with £21.42.. minus a ham sandwich and a twix... £19.87p.

I have decided that this week I will not borrow money, or owe any money. Rent has been paid and bills are covered - it is all about food and entertainment now.

Can I possibly do it!?

I'll keep you informed....

G

Flip it!

2007-08-15T11:14:00.000+01:00

Decided that I need a new skateboard setup... so out I went - few quid in hand and desended upon one of the 3 local skate shops...

First up was a new deck. I ride a really narrow light deck at the moment - particualirly dangerous to those who don't know her... so after much brow furrowing and striking contemplative poses in the shop window, I head right in there and parted with £40 for a brand spanking new plank. Clichy - Footprint, 7.75inches wide, standard new age popsicle shape with nice gold and black graphix. Sweet!

I also needed new soft wheels to save my joints on the pavements so decided upon some classic green super dooper soft Krytos! The lady said they were 56mm in radius... I just waved the notes (£20) and hurridly made my way to my awaiting stead to get em home and have a play.

I mounted up an old pair of trucks, found out the wheels where just too big (ARGH!!) and placed the new setup in the corner in wait for a nice dry day. Next day I popped into shop number 2 for some more wheels :-( Lol. Deciding to attach the Kryptos to my extra wide board for nice easy laid back fun sessions. The new wheels where some ultra soft bones (definitely 56mm this time - £20) and some hard arse slidy shit (53mm £10), pretty light weight.

The evening arrived and I quickly got involved with a concrete bowl, on my new super fast, super stylish setup... and it didn't go round corners. YES THATS RIGHT! IT DIDN'T TURN!! So I spent 2 hours rolling backwards and forwards, kick turning and olling as high as I could. BUM!!

Next day, down in the third skate shop and after being tipped of that my trucks were a usless pile of metal crapola... I bought a slighly narrower version of my trustee Independant trucks (£40 Grrrooooannnn). New setup complete.... if this didn't work - then I was going to sell the lot and buy some 80's roller skates and day glo lycra.

Few days later the weather gods granted me a dry spell.... and WOW! I could turn again, at SPEED! I have the best sesh ever and can't wait to get out again.

Final set up....

Clichy Footprint 7.75 inch x 31.25 inch Deck, 1/8th inch risers, gun metal grey low rise 129 Indys, 54mm soft core Bones. Sex on 4 wheels.

Cuba done.

Dropping in...

2007-05-17T12:07:00.000+01:00

Check this link out for now.. I almost poo'd my panties.

http://people.bath.ac.uk/pjs22/pardy/04/MVI_0316.AVI

Cubes

Wow-wa-we-wa!

2007-05-14T13:48:00.000+01:00

Back to work after a week in Portugal, surfing and having fun. I travelled out with 5 other guys to Lagos for a holiday which promised, sun, sea, surf, cheap beers, and laughs... and it didn't disappoint.

First night saw us arrive in Lagos around 10pm, just in time for a quick pizza and a few drinking games. Very quickly the tone of the holiday was set and we all went to bed relatively late... fairly well drunk.

Start surfing. After a quick 10 minute pointer in how not to become fish food, we were all sent into the white water to try our best to ride the odd ripple coming our way. The sun was hot and the sea beautifully warm and cosey. a few of us caught our first waves and had a bit of fun flipping a frisbie around too... to bed early for me that night - but a couple of the hard core partied on to the wee small hours.

The next few days of surf were a mixture of relaxed monging out, being hungover, ultimate frisbie, feet and necks getting sunburned and edging further and further out towards being 'outback', and beyond the white water.

Thursday.. and outback a couple of us went. AWESOME! I managed to catch 3 waves in quick succession, the final one was my ticket home back to the shore... it was amazing. The afternoon was absolutely bare for me. This was dress up evening and we got amazingly drunk and irritated the locals. The final activity included free running a waterfountain and causing mayhem in the town square. One of our party members (dressed as a Spartan) almost crippled himself on the cobbled streets. Gnarrrr!!!

Friday was easy sesh. Small waves and I only managed to catch one home... to be caught in a rip which almost dragged me back out behind the white water with cramp in my leg. My final surf ended up in me properly wiping out, loosing a contact lens, being hit on the head with my surf board and getting cramp... I limped back to shore crying. Big BIG night on the last night. Dance-offs, shots, girlies, burgers, the lot!!

Final day was waking up late and chilling, wandering around Lagos, looking for photo opportunties. I managed to drop in on a kiddies slide and we found a local skate park complete with local rippers. A sweet mini ramp controlled one corner of the park... I had great fun.

All in all... a great time was had by us all... can't wait to surf again.

aMAYzing

2007-05-02T15:08:00.000+01:00

Hey Bloggers. How good is the weather eh? Can't believe I'm shut away in an office...

Updates:

Righto, in chronological order... I was very ill for atleast 4 weeks back in March/April, feeling better now. Well physically anyway. Started new contract in April too, and having a great time. New house mate arrived last weekend.. very clean and smiley!! Also someone crashed into my baby scooter narrowly missing my leg and putting it into the garage for the next 4 weeks.

Hmmmmm... oh yeah, off to Portugal this Sunday to rip up the Med on a surf board.

You heard it all here FIRST!

Cuba

Double bedroom to rent in Clifton house

2007-03-21T20:29:00.000Z

Yes yes yes... it's all happening again. We have a room to rent. So far this time we have only shown gals around the place - my house mates 'requires' that we have a lady in da house so we can keep it nice and tidy. Bah! He is probably right... a gal may help us keep the kitchen a wee bit tidier... we don't live like slobs though!! No no no... its a nice lad friendly pad. With a dish washer.

So here we go AGAIN. God give me strength.... patience.... a happy smile.... and shed loads of charm. Blow this! I'm off over to my mates place in Nice and partying. Let my house mate deal with it!

BYEEEEEEE!!!

It's good that I got your interest... atlast

2007-03-14T11:58:00.000Z

Hey all, time to blog myself up to date.. loads has happened.

Almost completed the Isola2000 vid, it's looking pretty bad due to the naff grainy footage which was shot... stupid video camera.

Nsw finished with an ear infection which has kept me from doing hardly ANYTHING.. threatening to deafen me in one ear and make me fall over in a supermarket. Stupid tiled floors.

One of the 5-a-side teams which I play for got promoted! Great news I think you will agree... I'm chuffed anyways. Great balls of fire!

Nothing to give you regarding the dating front though. I have met some nice ladies and so far.. just friendly and relaxed. Errrr yep, thats it!

Last night though, stupidly I had 2 strong cups of coffee... which kept me up ALL DAMN NIGHT! I had some wicked nightmares. Infact in one, my door beel went off at 4am and I got up to answer it.... thats 2 flights of stairs (one a winding stair case), 2 rooms to cross and a long hall. I remember answering the door and looking to see nothing. All the way... back down to my room I felt that someone was watching me! Scary. Got back into bed.

Woke up this morning to find that actually did answer the door to a ring (in my head). Hmmmmm.... I wonder where my next adventure will take me.....

Cubes

2007-03-02T13:05:00.000Z

Just do the right thing

2007-02-27T15:24:00.000Z

I am struggling to do the right thing. RecentlyI have been handed the opportunity to spread the wealth(as it were) back to those who continuously deal to others - their social waste. This social waste, the by products from bad relationships.. past and current, whatever they maybe. I try and turn the other cheek and let bygones be bygones... I find myself becoming enraged though. Enraged that my tolerance seems to eat into my very soul, threatening to turn me into a mad gibbering wreck. It happens to my friends, they deal with it, it happens to my family, they deal with it.QUESTION. Do we all really ever learn how to DEAL with disappointment, sadness, regret - all those little dark feelings which slowly try to untangle your calm mind and make you bitter?
I say this - after meeting some nice people recently, not one appeared to have learned to deal with the nasty uncomfortable emotions which threaten to make us conservative in love or jealous or even frightened. Not one has truly learned about forgiveness and compassion. I saw nothing when I looked into their eyes, but a huge gap where someone had just left and slowly everything else around them was being sucked in...including their humanity. Nothing escapes. Maybe being humane is being bitter and letting everyone know how deeply you hurt inside? Humanity eats itself. Lol.

No wonder I find the taste so unpalatable.

Cuba

The BIG 4

2007-02-23T14:54:00.000Z

A few days a go, thanks to a conversation, I managed to bring up my very plain and straight forward way of determining whether or not that I am a happy guy at the moment. This depended on how highly I scored in my BIG 4. If I only scored 1 out of 4 I was in trouble. A better score of 2 out of 4 is always a sign that I am on the right tracks and could possibly be having fun. Now.. 3 out of 4 has been my highest so far, and this is a pretty good place to be in life. Since I have never hit the full house and managed to break into 4 out of 4... I can't tell you an awful amount about it. I have been a zero before.. and that sucked big time. A very dark time.

So what are the 4?

1. Home life : This is where you live, who you live with. Is is happy? Tidy? Fun?
2. Work Life : Are you content with your job?
3. Social Life : This is groups of people you hang with, drink with, play sports with or just generally chat to and relax with.
4. Love Life : This is all to do with special friends who make the earth move for you. Girl friends, or just girl friends.... if you know what I mean.

It wasn't until I had a chat with a friend regarding this that a 5th possible group came up.. this is Health Life! I had completely overlooked it and it deserves recognition. I will from now on make this another part of my life and therefore the BIG 4.. evolves into the BIG 5!

So where am I presently? Home life and Work life together make 1 point. My social life has been really cool ever since I landed in this fair city and my health is good! I make that a 3 out of 5 and this means I am pretty happy... Love life has been pretty low for about 18 months now... I am trying to make extra special efforts to reign that one in.. and my home and work life are both going through some changes imminently. Life is on the up. All hail the BIG 5.

Cubes

Edit this!

2007-02-19T12:26:00.000Z

HAHA! Finished editing my first snowboarding DVD yesterday! I am so happy. It's only 10minutes long, a bit shitty, but I had great pain and pleasure during trying to complete and then put it down. Thats the hard bit... putting it down.

So the the Badgers Snow Swagger is complete. Time for the grand unveiling... who wants to be a ginea pig then?

Cubes

Techno Junkman

2007-02-19T12:12:00.000Z

Word. The new week has officially landed and I am already checking ads for places to be this coming weekend... the early bird catches the worm I guess.

I had a blast this weekend. It did however remind me one one very very good reason why I decided to join an internet dating site. To meet gals with the same interests and a SIMILAR AGE!

I went to Thekla and they were hosting a Hard house, techno, dance night - PLAY. It was wicked - again. I love the atmosphere and ladies are very much into dancing to the same tunes as me - sweet! I did meet a lovely gal and spent sometime chatting and being led around the club hand in hand, searching for her drunken mate. Who she found eventually. I don't know why I asked this, but I did manage to inquire to her age. 21 years old she told me. WHY ME? I felt pretty bad and vowed to myself never to call her after the night had finished. Incredible as it may seem, but I am only interested in someone at a similar point in their life as me, not matter how nice they seem. ARGGHH!

Life has been teasing me... I shall resist though. For the good of everyone involved... I will resist.

G

Venue - the magazine

2007-02-15T10:34:00.000Z

I read our local copy of Venue quite alot, always searching it for a possible gem of a night out - or to swear and get upset at one being sold out months ago. Just recently though I have being reading the section titled "I saw you" and "I'm sore at you".

Amazing! Some of them are really cool. Guys and gals who thank strangers for good deeds or trying to get into contact with someone who they forgot to exchange details with when they met on a night out. Rather sweet.

I saw you!

Check it out - it will make you feel all goey inside...

Cuba

PS. I have noted that absolutley no one has SEEN ME. Are you all blind? You can't miss me. Try harder.

A tentative stab at the online dating lark...

2007-02-14T09:34:00.000Z

Good evening. I had thought about using the internet route to finding a nice girl of non mental tendancies - you know a thoughtful, articulate and happy one. Then I found out that I was at best only 'happy' myself... so beggers can't be choosers (only JOKING!). I have used the internet lots in the past to share my feelings, keep in contact with old friends (just last night I was able to catch up with an old house mate and find out how cool his life is at the mo)... I also have used it to make some really good new friends too. Alas though... most of the time, those friendships remained in cyberspace :-c

So! Alore! I decided about 2 years ago to advertise my wares in earnest on the internet in an attempt to snag myself a gorgeous lady who was feeling the same way I did or had similar interests... in effect - doubling my chances of meeting a cool gal (pretty slick eh?). The end result? Well I think that I am ready to spill the beans on what a wierd world this internet dating lark is. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't until 6 months ago that I joined an actual internet dating site. Until then I had only posted up a profile and chatted away to whoever crossed my path. Nether-the-less... I think I can talk with a certain amount of authority on the subject now.

In the beginning. The initial excitement was hard to deny. Lots of different types of ladies from all walks of life wanting to hear about you - I felt quite chuffed really. This feeling didn't last long though. Un opened responses to emails, messages going unreplied for weeks! It was like being dumped every day of every week for months. That takes it toll on your self confidence, but once you finally realise that this is only just cyberspace and everybody seems to ...well... always be looking out for the bigger better deal or lying to be quite honest - then you can begin your search with a renewed vigor. Ladies are more likely to be 'courting' more cyberpeople at once, as in real life too. No arguments there. Some are quite open and up front about it - bless you ALL! Some are like.... well... guys about it - we should all go to HELL! Remember, and this is a very important fact about internet dating and web community pages... if you are especially senistive to being; ignored, picked on, stalked, bored to death, ignored and dumped... then just don't do it. It is like real life x10, you get to chat to many many more people that you couldn't possibly accomplish down the pub or on a night out. Therefore you increase your chances of finding bad apples as well as really nice sweet people.. and I mean that. There are some great ladies out there - and I have had the fortune to meet and chat to my fair share of them. I have also spent months talking (more like councilling) to others who are having troubles in their lives. I know they appreciated it - I certainly did!

I managed to cultivate cyber relations with many interesting people.. but what happened when we met? This is where it either makes a relationship - or breaks it. Once I joined an internet dating site (6 months ago) I found myself chatting to gals who would regularily complain about unwanted attention (cyber stalkers) or just way too much of it! It is true... there are more guys on the net searching for potential new friends... but I still maintain there are more girls who are serious about finding that special someone than the guys realise. Just my opinon.

When you are contacted by, or contact a potential new friend - be assured that no matter how much they play it down - THERE ARE MORE GUYS or GALS SPEAKING TO THEM OR ARRANGING DATES WITH THEM IN CYBERSPACE. This is a golden rule - this is why we do this! We have a site which has over a million members (thousands in your area) all of who want to learn more about you! Whatever you do, don't be put off if a girl/guy tells you that they are currently in comunication with lots of other potential dates... this is just the way it is. You have to be as picky and play the game. Alore! I didn't want to use that word GAME... but unfortunately if it is not a game... then it is a delicate set of rules which none of us speak or completely understand - but we just get on with it. He or she dares - wins.

So you have a short list of potential partners or friends. Important! Have fun. Don't treat it too much like a date, unless you both have agreed that it is! Meeting for coffee is simply meeting for coffee. This a way to speak openingly in the flesh to a new friend and really try to learn about them. If the sparks fly and you still want to see this now 'real' person... then arrange a date of course.

These dating sites are here to provide everyone with the largest opportunity to meet and chat with the largest amount of people possible (whilst making money for them). They don't care how you spend your precious moments with the opposite sex (or same sex!). They don't care if you hurt other members feelings by standing them up or cutting off contact completely for no reason. This forum makes this form of rudeness and pickiness possible, very easy infact. A large number of the members who walk the cyber corridors of internet dating agencies are very serious predators and accomplished veterans at the game too. They know what they want - and will not care too much for the feelings of a person who has just left a 5 year relationship and is tentatively trying to get back into dating. Do not take this personally... keep your wits about you and be honest and open as much of the time as possible. This will see you right in the long run, trust me.

I am not a big fan of these sites, infact I would always rather meet someone (and continue to do so) when I am least expecting it.. thats my romantic side I guess. Never will I sign these sites off as a waste of time though! They have a place, a purpose. Especially with those who have no time to meet others through less forced circumstances. These sites hone your dating skills and communication skills. These dates can increase your confidence to make right decisions, and take knock backs on the chin without it hurting too much.... well sometimes lol.

Hey, if anyone asked me if they should go for it - I would say yes. It's too much of a learning experience to let it pass you by.

A quick word to all those out there who are highly sceptical regarding these sites... think on this. You are right to be a little bit sceptical about the types of character who invade the cyberspace, this can apply to real life and being chatted up in a bar too. You are correct to believe that it is easy to lie or bend the truth on your personal profiles, again this applies completely to real life too lol. If you are worried about what your friends may think... then don't. If your motives are honourable and you expect nothing more than a little bit of fun meeting new guys or gals, then do it and stop being so judgemental. An incredible amount of young folk use these sites to exchange ideas and keep in touch - to expand their knowledge of their own habitat and it's occupants, breaking free from their normal circle of friends. How cool is that?

Live long and prosper cattle people.

Cuba-ruba x

If you can't do... teach.

2007-02-13T10:02:00.000Z

After trawling the web for snowboarding holidays (there was a mention of doing Canada next year!!)... I come across snowboard instructor courses. Very interesting! 10 weeks, honing your skills, learning mountain craft/first aid, teaching beginners how to surf snow and taking away a qualification to boot! So I applied, and await my package in the post. The concensus is that you won't get rich teaching snowboarding (even though there is a world wide shortage of them), but you can enjoy the lifestyle, help beginners have fun and progress your riding style all at the same time. You will get paid and fed, and is a GREAT way to learn a foreign language too!

Hmmmm.... now all I need to do is get someone else interested.....

Gaz

Back to reality - Opps there goes gravity

2007-02-13T10:01:00.001Z

Hi Bloggers. Back to work and Bristol after 15 days boarding in total... and I have withdrawal symptoms already. I'm not sure whether it is the life style I miss or the awesomely cool things you can get up whilst ripping up a slope (of ice... sometimes snow). SoI began planning my next snow adventure staight away, a nice long weekend to keep me happy will do. Anyone up for that?

Alore! A number of my so called friends felt that my blog was kind of depressive. I think "everytime I read that page I feel like slitting my wrists" was one comment. With the greatest respect - I f&*%ing disagree.... because it cheers me up to blow away some of that 'depressive', creative juices. I will however try and cheer it up a little - just for you.

Bof!!

Cubes

January...the sun is shinning

2007-01-31T10:32:00.000Z

Hey you, it's a beautiful morning. For a change I managed to spring out of bed early only to come crashing back down onto my floor clutching my glutieus maximus. Bloody 5-a-side football. If it weren't for the fact that we ironman'd a well deserved draw last night I would have stayed there crying in pain for 20 minutes or so. I need to get that seen to ready for Saturday. NO! I meant massaged. NO! I meant heated and loosened up.... F.F.S. Can I say anything innocent about my arse hurting and needing it getting seen to? At all?!

Last night after footie, I managed to set up my head cam in readiness for our holiday... Oh yes.. she is fine!

I took it for a little test run this morning. Decided to scooter into work with my head cam running, and shoot me some footage. Currently it is waiting for underneath my desk!! Can't wait!

This week is looking sweet.

Cuba

Snowing in Isola2000

2007-01-30T14:10:00.000Z

Take a long hard look at this snow cats. You couldn't have a better look out if you tried... well ok, maybe 50cm of snow rather than 8cm... but it still looks fine to me.

If you spot anything bad in the forecast - keep it to yourself. I withhold the right to be blissfully ignorant and optimistic.... NO! Don't even think it.

Cubbagger

Chilled Heat

2007-01-26T13:46:00.000Z

Hey Blog-tarts. I managed to make it back to the UK unscathed from my holiday in Val d'Isere with the footie/skater/boarder gang. The boarding was not hugely ideal... but we managed to have an absolute blast on and off piste... and aprés skiing too ;-D

We stayed in a self catering apartment just above the tourism office on the main square - which was wicked for getting drunk and dragging yourself back to your stinky bed at night. Places of note; Dicks Tea Bar... or Dick Tease Bar as I dubbed it. Funky tunes and plenty of dance space, watch out for the pricey drinks though. You are better off buying some take aways else where and joining the Dick Tease fray at 1:30 in the morning... but where do you go before hand? Le Face Bar... THE CHEAPEST APRES...EVER. At 2 euros a pint (well almost), we were downing 3 or 4 of those beauties before we got ready for dinner. Next stop would be The Saloon... real big on cheese nights (quite repetitive), but if you land the right night, like we did - then Long Island Iced Teas with banging DJ's ripping up your evening. Love it.

The resort is linked very well with its neighbours, one of note is Tignes. Both Val and Tignes offer so much to boarders and skiers of every compentancy... it's hard to believe that you would want for anything else... but invetibly you do.

Roll on next Friday and hop skipping to the Cote d'Azur and Isola2000... word is that the conditions will be sweet. Fingers crossed - again. Croccodile Bar.... HERE WE COME!!

Cu-bish-bash

Les Alpes Maritimes

2007-01-25T17:00:00.000Z

EDIT 11!

I have paid for an 8 person chalet in Isola2000 - France Chalet Oh! IsoLA! LA!. This has cost 1,220 euros for the week, from Saturday 3rd February to Saturday 10th February 2007.
There are now only 2 spots available the whole week duration. Thats Friday 3rd to Sunday 11th....

I have posted some files up on the web for you all to digest. We have a plan of the chalet, directions to the Chalet in text format and in picture format. Finally a plan of Isola2000 for you to view.

f
Ok snow bunnies, here is the latest!

The apartment has been paid for, you all have paid your flights and insurances (hopefully), the deposit and tourist tax is now being paid (cheers G-Man). The final costs and dates/times are as follows....

Cubes - 1 week (arrive Friday 2nd Feb in Nice at 14:30, depart Sunday 11th Feb 11:20) 7 nights in Isola2000 - 170 euros, 2 nights in Nice - 65 euros, tourist tax and charges - 10 euros.
Taz, Baldy, Bitter Phil, Madam and Jimmy - Half week (arrive Wednesday 7th Feb in Nice at 10:10, depart Saturday 10th Feb 21:30?) 3 nights in Isola - 108 euros, tourist tax and charges - 7.50 euros. 115.50euros each.
Andy - 1 week (Sames as Cubes) - 245 euros + £15 to transport snowboard.

G-Man and Marion - 1 week (arrive Friday 2nd Feb in Nice, depart Saturday 10th/Sunday 11th) 7 nights in Isola2000 - 340 euros, 1 night in Nice (G&M) - 70 euros, 1 night in Nice (G) - 30 euros, tourist tax and charges - 19 euros. 459 euros in total.

Also, bring bed linen!. Once G, Andy and I are in Isola we will check out the prices and times for 3 of you (Jimmy, Madam and Bitter) to take an afternoons lessons (will that be just one afternoon?). We shall endeavour to arrange for your lift passes too - so that there is no time spent mincing around. On the final Saturday, Marion will be taking the early bus back to Nice to catch her plane, the rest of us will surf out the day and take the later 16:30 bus. This means we have to finish the slopes at a reasonable time - sorry. Once in Nice, the bus will drop the half-week boys at the Airport, and then drop the gnarly-week boys off in city centre.

]

7 day weather forecast is; Today and tomorrow the temperature is -13 and there will be some snow (3cm). Currently there is 125cm at the top and 35cm at the bottom of the slope. The temperature is likey to rise back up to zero by this time next week with no other snow forecast during the week.... but the forecast is changing all the time and the snow seems to be continuing to fall, watch this space. Also around 90% of the pistes are open, with limited off piste boarding available. Conditions is packed powder... and it all looks good for the beginners in our group. Hopefully if the snow can just pick up a little and we get 20cm of fresh snow over this next week... then the conditions will be excellent :-D

]

Cuba-LA-LA!

Interlude blues V

2007-01-12T14:10:00.000Z

Garden of Confusion

This small poem I wrote 18 odd months ago (above)... and it still seems to mean a lot to the way my mind rolls. I know exactly how I was feeling at the time, I was optimistic and happy yet not content. Imagine a jigsaw puzzle 2 thirds complete and plenty of pieces left... and you are on a roll. Enjoying the moment, but fearing the day that you eventually find 2 or three pieces missing and you just don't care anymore. Resignation to failure... and loss of understanding.

No Title

This piece had no title... infact I seemed to have been regressing rather than moving forward. This is not a poem, this is me begging for answers. Infact that can be the title - The Big Issue.

I'm not a fan of happy endings, infact I love lifes little tragedies... as long as we learn from them, I will stay firmly addicted to being lost and unfulfilled. I did however buy myself the cutest little hat today!! Bring on the weekend. I tell yah, if you thought me writing this crap made me look like a tit... you aint seen nothing yet!

Creative Interlude V

Cold harsh lines of a new world gone crazy; buzz.
Faint blue glow of remote feeling arriving hazy; beep.
Prolonged anticipation of the next touch; bleep
Now just an irritation; beepbeep - beepbeep.

You have a new message.

Cubes 2007

Freezeday

2007-01-12T10:13:00.000Z

Damn its cold. Again. So where were we? Oh yeah, the queue for kicking me doesn't seem to have dispersed, infact a few people who I don't even know have joined it to see what the fuss is about!! I think that they think that they are missing out on something good.

I just realised that I need a boost thats all. I have snowboarding to look forward to next week.. but for reasons I won't go into - it is filling me with a wee bit of dread. Unfounded doubts I hope.

I can't get excited about the weekend, because a) I volunteered to play for a Sautrday league football team... and I may turn out to be crap (actually I play out of my skin in every debut :-p). b) I can't get excited at the prospect that I may go out and have a real good time... because everyone else is still in a financial hangover from xmas... stupid present buying... c) gfoinsf'ionrqi'fnc'onifq'!!dsdq'cnq?!!!?!

The last reason was just frustration coming out. Don't be scared.

The only one thing which is making me feel better, the one thing which infact makes me smile inside is the one thing which I wished not to happen quite yet. LOL... thats life tho. If I can continue to see the brighter side of my bad desicion making... then I am not denying a good lesson learnt. I am merely relying upon my pactience to see me good in the end. I shall call this paradox which feeds upon my torture... the Cubacide. Actually that is making me feel better already. No more sacrifices to Cubacide this weekend though. Stop kicking me and go home.

I have just woken up.

Join the queue

2007-01-11T08:23:00.000Z

It's Thursday, and for the first time in ages - I can't really get that enthusiastic about it. I can't even muster the wit to give myself a good old fashioned ribbing for saying just that... is it that bad? No not really, but I guess - I would like something to go well for me pretty soonish.

The last time I really felt like this was about about 5 years ago... I remember it vividly ( I told you it was ages ago). I don't want to go into what happened THAT weekend because it set about an awful lot of changes. Change is good, but in controlled dosages - it is better. A repeated proverbial beating to my nuts is usually followed by the soothing action of my life taking a quick pitstop. Then I'm off again. SO... if you have big boots, pointy boots, lead boots or just bare feet (because you are hard)... then quickly get in the queue. It's a once in a 5 year offer people - kick me hard and see me suffer. I promise to show it on my face this time.

On a lighter note..........nope....... nothing. Keep booting me.

Phitz...

Party Season

2006-12-30T16:06:00.000Z

Happy New Year!! Thanks for reading this post and here are my new year duties/resolutions.

Not to get blind drunk on a night out anymore. A few beers will see me being social and at the same sort of wave length as my drinking buddies... but not stop me from maintaining a conversation before swaying about, falling over or generally acting like an idiot.
Make sure my savings include for a new car too... I am tiring of the white monster. She is making me sad now.
Keep up the training ;-D
Look for a new pad to live - somewhere on my own for a little while. Try a new area of the city.
Do something creative with my spare time. Films/Poetry/Photography/Art.
Properly learn a new language - and not half heartedly buy another language dictionary.

That'll do for now.

Cuba

Glum

2006-12-18T09:31:00.000Z

It's the Christmas run up week people!! One more week of feverishly working to clear my desk in readiness for the holiday break and then I can relax a little. SO the idea is to complete my Xmas shopping (Complete? How about start?) during this week... half day off Friday should do the trick I think. BAM! One hit. No worries.

...just wish I could get into the spirit of it. Time again to off load some recent bad feelings.

Idiot unhelpful help desks - especially city council ones... here is a snippet of a an earlier conversation:

Hi, I would like to know where my account stands please as I seem to be have kept out of the loop of communication. I have just recieved a letter from some bailiffs!!

Yes Mr Cuba, you owe £198. It was not paid, so we had a magistrates court obtain the right enter your premises so we can collect what you owe.

... WHAT? Last time I spoke to you - I dropped a letter off at your offices and the summons, which has been a mistake, was going to be dropped. I am awaiting a new bill! Not a BAILIFF!

You do have the bill Mr Cuba?

Yes.

The bill stands and nothing short of paying it will prevent us from entering your property.

This is NOT what I had discussed with one of your colleagues just 3 weeks ago! There was a mix up with the dates of my previous house mates leaving and I rectified that in a letter... do you have the letter?

Yes we do, its in front of me now.

Well read it.

The bill needs to be paid sir.

WHAT! I was asked to get this letter over to you and then we can try and work out how this mistake all happened!

You do have the bill sir?

Right. I last spoken to a colleague-

-Sorry sir we have no record of this conversation.

Do you record telephone conversations?

Yes we do sir.

Can you obtain the recording for the last one I made to you - is it on file?

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't... we don't record them all.

.....I need to talk to your manager if that is ok. I wish to make a complaint.

I will send out a comments form to you sir.

NO, no. Since this whole issue has been exasperated by a break down in communications... I will send YOU a letter, can I have an address and name to make this complaint out to please?

I'm affraid that this letter may be dealt with any one of around 30 offices sir. I cannot give you an address.

Eh? I need an address.

Send it to the one on your bill please sir.

A name?

I'm sorry, since this can be dealt with-

-WAIT, who is your supervisor?

Mrs %%%%%%, you can mark the letter for the attention of Mrs %%%%%%%.

Can you explain to me why I have been given a rebate for a month which you are now charging me the full rate PLUS...PLUS another £98 magistrate courts costs? Can you just think for a second, why this should be?

I couldn't possibly answer...

You have all the correspondance in front of you... if you take all of this - create a time line of events... this is what your colleague did by the way, and hey presto... none of it adds up.

Silence

I hang up...

Just a quick word to all those telephonists and helpdesk operators out there... I know it must be hard - especially since your are front line to probably the rudest conversations ever... but please, use your noodle and atleast try to help. FACT is - some of you CAN do your job, some of the time.

You have just made my hate list... can't believe how fast that list is growing.

Helpdesk operators (some)
Bullies (all)
Idiot hacking chav footballers (all)
Jacks
Brizzle drizzle

Cuba

The Lords Prayer

2006-12-15T10:27:00.000Z

So here it is... again; Friday. Let us pray.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy constitution.
Thy shots of sambuka round,
thy will be downed,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this weekend our premium beer.
And forgive us our alco-pops,
as we forgive those who puke upon us.
And lead us not into Wetherspoons,
but deliver us from beers glasses.
For thine is the hangover, the sickness and the late mornings. for ever and ever.
Amen

Tis the season to PAR-TAY!

2006-12-11T10:41:00.000Z

Working as a consultant (rather than a company employee), I had already removed the idea that I may enjoy a Christmas party with my work colleagues this year. BUT... surprise surprise... I have an invite! It's a Friday evening do - dinner jackets etc. It doesn't sound too exciting... but you never know. I have been proven wrong many times before. The party has all the hallmarks of a sleeping giant - really! A nights stay at a nice hotel with a bar tab and a swimming pool in the basement....what more can I ask? Rock on!! Well apart from a thick sprinkling of the fairer sex... then the mix may be completed.

Are we talking about a celebration of 80's curtain designs? OR

PAR-TAY!!

Something in between would really be quite attractive.

Cuba

St Christopher... you dawg!

2006-12-07T11:44:00.000Z

I had another near miss again this morning on my scoo-tay, this time with a car. As I have clocked up a few of these encounters - I think it is about time I shared the wealth of my knowledge to date.

Bristol City - Scooter/Motorcyclist Survival Guide

Give yourself plenty of space/time to brake. This is especially important in the wet. I had my bike for only a few hours before I had to brake really hard - behind a police van. I did have enough distance to stop. 4/5 safety points to me.
Using the cycle lanes. Only do this at a cycle speed! I was caught out going up hill undertaking stationary traffic in a cycle lane, when a car travelling towards me turned right (thats across the cycle lane) between 2 traffic jammed cars. I get 1/5 safety points there because I was travelling way to fast. I ended up glancing the kerb to avoid becoming a bonnet ornament. Having said that, if I was a quick moving cyclist... the same accident would have happened. So thats a black mark on the car driver too.
When travelling down the centre of traffic which has stopped - take extreme care. I have been almost taken down by a pedestrian crossing between a van and a bus... emerging to find me bearing down on them. Also I have been hit by a car who was pulling out of a junction between a bus and a car... 3/5 safety to me. Both occasions I saw the danger and could not avoid it - so I slowed. Had I been faster.. then it would have been another story. This is a classic mistake by motorists and pedestrians - they are being allowed passage by someone else... and therefore are blinded to your position.
Travelling on Bus lanes/cycle lanes. Again this is a dicey one. Take every precaution to see what is ahead. This morning I came closest to flying because a big van allowed a car on the opposite side of a road to cross over his lane and the bus lane to access a junction. The driver did not see me until I was right on top of him... and he was accelerating FAST! 3/5 for my safety there. This was one of those times where I had no chance... but I still knew it was wet and there was a big van at a junction - blinding me and the car driver to traffic. The car driver has a BIG black mark here. If I was a cyclist... travelling at the same speed - then I would have been broken badly. The lane he was crossing is used by bikes and scooters... he has no excuse, car drivers must take care whilst crossing these lanes blind.

In conclusion

When it is wet, take it easy and be extra vigilant. When you approach a bus or van which blinds you and also any other potential road users to your position - SLOW DOWN IMMEDIATELY! Buses and vans are THE biggest risk you have as a biker. Buses and vans remove all control you have over the situation. When you approach these vehicles at speed... you are throwing the dice of death.

Cuba

Cards/Cards/Cards

2006-12-05T09:39:00.000Z

It's that time of year again... Christmas and Happy New Year cards to be chosen. I knida gave up on that a few years ago - deciding that there was way too much pressure to be original, or witty, or thoughful or tasteful.... BAH! So I abstain. Life would be great if I were part of a religion which prevented me from sending out seasons greetings cards... but life is never that simple.

Ok, I'm a coward.

Also; there are sooo many designs to choose from. What if someone else picked the same ones as you? Does this mean you forever have a card twin? 'shrugs' Meah... I 've been called worse.

It's same with birthday cards too. Just when you have picked one that you think is perfect.. you spot another which has an even more perfect message to deliver - and £1.50 less to boot! Wow... I need help. Infact... thats exactly what I need! Help! No - not that kind of help, but card choice assistance. I mean, some people (some rich people) have personal shoppers, yeah? Why can't shop assistants stalk the card shop aisles like REAL sales persons? Rather than cast odd looks at you, when you finally dump the card, novelty mug and cuddly toy onto the cash register, why can't they offer frank and much needed advice to us - on the floor?

After pawing over the 'happy birthday' selection for 15minutes... and finally forgetting who you are buying for - then enter THE ASSISTANT.

ass.1 "Buying for anyone in particular sir?" identifying that you are infact hovering between mother/daughter.
me "Yes please, I am looking to buy a card for my mums birthday."
ass.1 "Excellent! Are you close?"
me "errrr... what?"
ass.1 "Are you close to your mother sir? Do you wish to let her know that she is 1 in a million?"
me "Yes we are, and yes I do - BUT..." pointing at the red glittery card with 'MUM YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLION!' written in bold on the front "... not sure that I want send that one. Infact I probably don't have the money to be able to pay the postage - it is pretty big wouldn't you say?"
ass.1 "Yes, I see what you mean - I did choose that card for the collection to be bought by the more audacious customers" eyes up my grey trousers. "perhaps this one?" Handing over a small white card with a present embossed on it. The message reads 'To a mother who deserves everything she has worked hard for in life Happy Birthday... I love you'.
me "I like the design... but I don't want to say to my mum that she has worked hard for my love." I chuckle.
ass.1 "Hmm" giving me a stern look "since you seem so fond of a joke, may I take this opportunity to point you towards our humourous collection?" Now we are talking! Everybody loves a good joke at their own expense... now wheres that rude one?
ass.1 "Sir! I was merely joking. Have you no shame?"
me "Look ass.1, I'm not sure how you came to be quite so up tight whilst working in a card shop, full of jokes, toys and seasons greetings... but if you continue to be so depressing - then I'm sure hanging around the collection of sympathy cards would better suit your skills"...swipes any card from display "and good day to you!" Damn... how did a 'congratulations on your retirement' get mixed in with the birthday cards?

Ok, perhaps choosing cards should remain a personal thing, good luck to you all.

Gary

Baaaad Beats - OW!

2006-12-04T13:48:00.000Z

I decided to dedicate this post to the bad beat. This is a term coined by the poker fraternity in order to describe a particular nasty rub of bad luck due to community cards being dealt which defy all odds and cause the recipient to the said 'bad beat' to feel like cow manure... by loosing a hand which they - by rights, should have won.

My kryptonite

Firstly, as a bonified connoisseur of these unfortunate happenings, I feel it neccessary to inform you of how to deal with them.. in an effective manner.

You are at a friends. You have just suffered a bad beat from a case card (ie the only card in the pack which could have caused you this much pain....). Start laughing, but stare off a point just above the bad beaters head. Keep widening those eyes and just let all the laughter out. Stick out your hand to shake theirs in a gentlemanly fashion. Make sure that your laughter gets more and more high pitched as you stare off into the distance. This could make you feel better, but walking off whislt still laughing may infact damage your soul. At the next opportunity shit in his/her bath.
You are at a friends. You have just suffered a bad beat. Congratulate the beater on an immensly well played hand. Describe how you could not possibly have seen that card coming on the river/turn (delete as appropiate) and it was surely a genius play by your friend to forsee such a circumstance. Start slapping yourself with surprise and shock at their genius. Stop when the bleeding starts. Ask to use their toilet to clean up the blood soaked forehead and cheeks, then shit in their bath.
You are at a friends. You have just suffered a bad beat of enormous magnitude. Scream OWWW! Like Michael Jackson would and then start popping to Billie Jean (music in your head). Finishing it off with a triumphant moon walk into their rest room - still busting the odd OWWW! I'm BAD! Shit in their bath. You may want to take a white glove for affect... but take it off once the shitting starts.
You have just suffered a bad beat. Don't say a word, not even when some askes if you want a drink of something to clam yourself down. Just accept defeat and every now and then wimper between hands. Because everyone loves a cry baby. You go girl!
Bad beat comes. Accept defeat with a gracious 'doh' look etched across your face and maybe shake your head in disbelief. Extend a hand for the hand shake then explain that you thought that you saw a poo in his/her bath earlier. Remember it always pays to get your pay back in first... covers the tracks nicely.

You may be forgiven for saying that "Hey Cubes, thats an awful amount of shitting - wouldn't someone begin to notice a pattern forming?" My clever answer would be this. I didn't understand how ingrained in to society all this defocating on someone elses property was until the topic came up in general conversation. Let me tell you - if you poker-it with a group of lads where the majority of them have stories to regale everyone with, which involves the pissing or pooing ontop of another friends property... then surely you are not inconviencing them. Infact you are enriching their lives.

My real answer would be of course... I was joking. Honest.

Happy pokering pokerinos.

Cuba

Roof tops

2006-12-03T16:51:00.000Z

I share a house with a roof terrace and even when it is dark... it is an amazing place to be. This photo taken, I think testifies to that.

Now, do I invest in a peeping toms telescope or not.. that is the question.

Great for BBQ's, sunbathing, parties, peeping, chilling and watching fireworks.

Bristol at night blog blaggers... enjoy

I have just realised how serious the last few posts have been, I will try my best to cheer a few of them up very soon.

Cuba calling

I'm no dictator

2006-12-02T10:41:00.000Z

I have been living this particular life for 32 years now... 33 years in 4 days (yipeee!!), and ....wait a minute - I said 'this life'. That doesn't actually mean that I believe in reincarnation or life after death, but it doesn't mean that I don't believe... AND it definitely does not mean I want to cash out! I digress. I'll get back to that one later.

Yes, 32 years. My memory is not great regarding my early years - but I know that I could be terrible, this still happens. Not sure why - but these feelings arise every now and then. Do I wish to apologise to anyone or everyone who I have ever upset during my 'terrible' moments? Why should I? This would be my question. Why would any of this actually matter? I see (as you all must too) idiot boy/girl actions all the time - with no guilt attached, not one iota of understanding of how we really affect each other. No harm no foul. I see what on the surface would be considered an extremely morally sound decision - towards a complete stranger, only to have this 'good' work undone by upsetting a close friend or family member by being ignorant.

I have been confided in. Friends of mine have admitted how upset that they have been regarding the ignorance of others... 'do they not know how this upsets me?'.... To put it simply- no. No one does really. We all have our social limits and we all keep treading on each others toes, intentionally and accidently. Forgiveness is this the key? Passiveness, is this the cure? If we turn a blind eye - how long before you feel used, abused and blatantly trodden on? I guess this all depends on how much you fear the repercussions of your actions.

Take this example. A man only just last year was attacked and permenantly disfigured by a group of youths on a bus. The fight broke out when the random nondescript guy stuck up for himself against a group of children, hell bent on making his journey a misery. Taunting and threatening him, was he right to make a stand? Were the other travellers in the immediate vicinity - right not to intervene and leave a heavily out numbered man to be brutally kicked, punched and stabbed to within an inch of his life? When is enough, enough? In this case the repercussions for the man were serious. Should we all avoid this kind of situation - knowing how quickly the stakes can be increased? There is definitely an argument for walking away there.

Who backs down? Who has the most to loose? What are the odds that you will be the one in physical or emotional debt? These are indeed, all factors to consider.

I guess it all comes back to life experiences. If you have been bullied, then what makes you want to do the same to another person? Filling that void of low self esteem, by flexing your muscles and controlling someone else? I say that we can prevent this awful cycle of abuse from repeating itself, once we have understood what drives us to do what we fear the most... and that is hurt the people we love and care for.

If I were that gentleman on the bus, would I have fought back. Damn right I would. If all other reasonable actions failed and calming the situation down was not working... then yes, I would be fighting back at injustice. The reason? Because I am selfish. In the heat of the moment when everything that I own is on the line... my thoughts would not be of anyone who knows me, loves me or cares for me. My thoughts would be - how can I get myself into and out of this situation, teach the evil doers a lesson and still walk away intact. Not one thought spared for anyone I know. This makes me feel pretty sick.

I'm not sure whether this nature or nurture speaking to me - all I can surmise is that I had better change my nature pretty quickly. Especially since I have found myself in similar situations just recently where I decided to back down and save it for another day... ticking time bomb.

We all do things a little crazy every now and again, I'm sure of that. We can however make a difference by reflecting upon our actions and atleast attempting to make good on our word, and look upon each other as fellow human beings rather than the next shmuck who is going to be trodden on... because someone has done that to you in the past... or simply, you do it because you can.

I hope in my heart that we all do not have to learn these life lessons the hard way, but if this is the only way - then bring on the abuse people. I choose to break that cycle, and it ends with me. No more hazardous social waste by-products will be spewed into other peoples lives through me. Tolerance for idiots is now at zero, forgiveness for people who deserve it at a maximum.

Amen

Celebrity twins

2006-12-01T12:20:00.000Z

I wouldn't exactly call Nicholas Hammond a celebrity (well not in the last 3 decades)... but still, check out the pics below.

Ollie and Nick, separated at birth? You decide.

Incase you didn't know who Nick Hammond is, I can inform you that he played Peter Parker aka Spiderman in the hit 70's shows and film.

I think the likeness is spooky... you go web head!

Cuba

Cracking up

2006-12-01T10:52:00.000Z

Hey! Well it's still not official, but the pain and discomfort is enough to tell me that cracked ribs are what I have. You will be pleased to know that I am no longer swearing quite so much, as I have found quite an upbeat article on training with cracked ribs! Wow!

http://www.davedraper.com/cracked-ribs.html

This is cool. I have a gym in my bedroom, so light training to keep my body pumping and in good working order should be possible. I will be out of football or any other vigorous exercise for 6 weeks now.... infact a week before I head off on my first snowboarding holiday next year. Perfect, so things are looking a little more cheery now :-) The down side is not being able to skate during this time.... hmmmmm... I will have an awful amount of time to myself over the next month or so. Lucky it's christmas soon.

I may even finally buy that camcorder I have always pined after and edit together some video clips of the guys playing footie. This would make for great practice in readiness for the snowboarding.... BO!

edit; my ribs are feeling much better today - even without pain reflief. Over the moon....only 5 weeks and 6 days to go... fingers crossed.

Cuuuuu

Liable or libel

2006-11-30T13:02:00.000Z

I appologise for the content of this post... I will be swearing; f%@#ing lots of swearing. I shall however - bleep out as much as I can be bothered to. I am in pain as I write this.

PRO5 you f%@#ing suck!

To be honest I have more often than not been on the recieving end of bad challenges in football, none more than in 5-a-side though. It's the format you see. This kind of fooball attracts the football wannabes, fat, useless idiot tw@#s who think they can play and inevitably - they can't. So they hack you up. Now - this is fine if you have a large field of opening soft greenery... yeah you may still hurt... but only your ego is a little bashed if the f%@#ing tw@# referee doesn't blow his whistle. I deal with it because this is the way of things.

BUT... jam 10 players in a cage, line it with metal and build the floor from what can only be likened to sand paper... then you have trouble just round the corner.

I am not saying all c@#t referees are bad at policing this rubbish football... infact the opposite. A number of them are absolutely brill at their job! However, all it takes is a few bad apples to make the weekly trip to the cage fight (which is called football) a costly experience.

As you may or may not be able to tell.. I am upset, have had enough, on tilt, steamed etc etc. Mainly because of:-

After repeated efforts to ask (lol..ask) the c@#t referee to blow up for challenges which can only end in tears... 8 times out of 10... I would be warned rather than the fat tw@# who just went straight through me, run me into a wall etc. etc.
I look like a little girl - moaning and complaining... I HATE this. Why should I look like the idiot when all I am doing is appealing for fair, nay, SAFE play!!
If step up my game and play a loose dirty game like my opponents.. I am no better than them. Infact in the eyes of football law - I am worse. F%@# THAT!
I have had a few trips to the doctors due to idiot f%@#wits putting in dangerous challenges on me and it has now ended in me sitting here with a cracked rib after being sandwitched by a fat c@#t goalie and his gay lover sliding into me on the edge of the penalty area. The referee begrudgingly gave us a free kick and didn't even warn either of the gay suckoff champions.
I now have to rest up or not make my Badgers Snow Swagger in January due to my injury.

Is this fair? No, but who said anything about fair play or protection against this kind of abuse... I'm just relieved that all I have is a cracked rib.

What the hell am I supposed to do eh?

Cuba

The plot thickens

2006-11-29T13:02:00.000Z

Whatcha. Had an absolute great time last night, played in a 62 person no-limit texas holdem tournament. Wow! The antes and blinds were vicious, and played a huge part in how you should decide to play - in my case rather poorly. I won the total of 3 hands... and entered into, yep you guessed it - 3.

This carried on for myself until just past midnight and I finished 19th... which is acceptable for 3 hands played I guess. A number of the Napalm Badgers, my housemate and poker fiends joined me - we totalled 7 of the field. My house mate G-man started on my table to add to the spice. I know how he plays and got out of the way everytime he entered into a pot situation. SHA-MONE!

G-man has also requested to write the script for Oh! IsoLA-LA! Apparently it will go something like this:-

Girl 1 lays by the log fire in the snow covered chalet in only a bath robe, then in comes girl 2. She slowly removes all her tight ski clothes and then girl 3 (who was showering) enters the room too... she is naked... I think you get the idea. Weldone G-man!! Infact his story involved the f word more than mine... but we all understand.

Football training tonight. New knees please!

Cu-knackered-ba

The red pill...

2006-11-23T12:38:00.000Z

I love the question "Are we all (is life) just a part of a computer simulation created by our far distant descendants?"

I have read a few arguments for and against... and Nick Bostrum's conclusion has best helped me try to understand this; of the 3 following statements, one must logically be true.

The human race as we know it becomes extinct well before we are technologically advanced enough to create a computer simulation which is so highly advanced that we (if we were a part of it) would never realise the difference between real life simulated life.
In the future, we are advanced enough to be able to create simulated universes where minds may flourish and 'live'... but almost all of humanity agree never to do so.
We are more likely than not to be part of a computer simulated world right now.

Ok, the final statement takes a little bit of courage to believe. There are some scientists who think that this kind of 'virtual reality' technology and computer construction will be available in as little as 50 years! It matters not though if this were to take 10 thousands years to accomplish. The length of time needed to develop the technology changes none of the above 3 statements.

Let us look at statement 1. This is highly probable, as we are all aware of the many complexities of the universe, and how little regard our current civilisation has for one another. Even though this statement can be regarded as a possiblity... I generally hope that we can avoid extintion and live for many hundreds of thousands of years.

As for statement 2. To have the technology to create this simulation, giving them the opportunity to watch history as it happens and the whole of civilisation to universally enter into a pact not to embark upon this voyage, would be a) extremely short sighted and surely would restrict the races evolution from then on, and b) for a pact of this nature to exist, the human race would have to agree to co-operate on a scale never seen before in the history of mankind. Another very very large pill to swallow.

The fact remains that one of these statements must be true, which one is up to you. If statement 3 were the truth - how would you feel about that? Would you go crazy? Deciding that since everything you have lived for and loved was now just a simulation, created by a spotty youth in a long white coat. Controlled by the seemingly faceless future descendants of the human race for the sake of an experitment or for their amusement? You see, if they could create such a universe... over and over and over again for any man or woman to experience. Then 'they' could be anyone you meet in this life. They could be your next door neighbour, happy to invite you over for the odd BBQ during the summer. They could be the Prime Minister... satisfied with the power they have in an world of ages ago. The likelyhood is that if you are not one of them... then you are like me and part of the system. A simulation. If you realised this fact - then maybe you would just go about your everyday life as usual, knowing that you cannot possibly have any impact on the system as we understand it. Imagine, the mathmeticians of years ago, Einstein and Newton. The patterns which they themselves had discovered... are only a small part of the mathematical equations devised by our descendants to create this world we live in. Through quantum physics, it has been proven that the smallest of the smallest of particles know to man are represented by just mathematical equations... it doesn't matter which one of these statements is true really, because each and everyone of them brings bad news to you and me.

Extinction of human race through mass destruction or natural disaster.
Extinction of human race through restricting evolution on a universal scale. Think Star Trek and holodecks. If the human race agreed to enter into this contract, then even the smallest personal useage of this technology could and would make statement 3 more of a possibility than statement 2.
Non existence. You are a simulation - and believe it or not... this is the best result for us.

Finally as sure as eggs are eggs, if we ever find ourselves on the verge of running one of these mass universe simulations, this would be the most powerful argument that statement 3 is right... and forever should we be humbled in our universe.

One of the most powerful arguments to become an agnostic than any other concieved I think.

Kirk out.

Weekend over...

2006-11-20T08:45:00.000Z

Great weekend! Firstly the gig in the Thekla was too cool for words - I had a great time. After spending some time in bed recovering on Saturday... I managed to make it a poker game and again had a little bit of fun - and luck! I called an all-in by my mate with 8's in the hole after a 3-Ace-6 was shown on the flop. My mate had an Ace... the river brought me the 8 ;-) I was very apologetic. Once finished with poker a few of us headed off to a house party, and left pretty quickly afterwards due to feeling a little out of place... students. Went home.

Chilled apart from that...

Back to work.

Cuba

MOnKEy kNIFe FIigHt

2006-11-17T08:22:00.000Z

Woo....HOO! This weekend will see me and a few friends ripping up the dance floor at the Thekla - Monkey Knife Fight. A bit of electro-a-techno-a-dance stuff... pretty sweet and should be fun.

Apart from that... it's just chilling and shopping I guess. C'mon.

Todays words are:-

Swain (n) 1 suitor. 2 country youth. Not entirely sure how this will fit into conversation tonight or over the weekend... but I may go to a poker match at Bath. I could land that word during the game I think.

Debunk (v) 1 Informal expose the falseness of. Easy one this, everyone bullshits about something at sometime. Or is that just me?

Cuba Fever

Creative Interlude IV

2006-11-16T07:51:00.000Z

How do you feel? Life being driven from the backseat,
Emotionless and waiting to be pinched; incredible hunger,
Insatiable desire crossed with lethargic execution; no pity.

The horizon of realisation has been void and distant thus far,
Framed by dark, tall, dusk trees; the obvious path so narrow,
Guide my thoughts, bring peace to my mind, awaken my intelligence.

How does the tormented soul forgive what the eye cannot realise?
How does the tortured mind meditate which it has not understood?
Does the heart feel lost of love? A shield of bone and skin and muscle.

Cuba® 2006

Why do we even care at all?

2006-11-06T10:07:00.000Z

Self interest may very well be at the root of many the descisions we make - there is a pretty big argument that in order to feel respect for yourself and in turn for others... we have to be self interested and selfish. It sounds like I am saying that you should suddenly start looking after number one and bollocks to the rest... no - this is not what I am saying. Your confidence and strength of character relies upon YOU respecting YOU. If your self worth is weak and you find expressing your individuality and confidence a problem... these emotions will eventually manifest themselves as negative ones. Meaning - you will begin to covertly sway peoples opinon to gain what you need, you may begin to usurp others confidence to boost your own. Eventually you may very well find yourself using devious tricks to mentally and emotionally gainan advantage over others, as doing this openly is regarded as not the 'nice' thing to do. Wakeup please.

To put this simply, ask yourself what would make you happy? Long term and short term - pay particular attention to your answer here. If your actions conflict with these desires, then stop and reflect upon why you are doing the opposite of what you need to do to satisfy your desires and emotions. Emotion and desire are the building blocks of your personality... and no, I don't mean go and commit crimes etc to obtain what you desire as one of your desires should be to remain free and un-incarcerated by the law - isn't it? :-)

Lights out.

Skate weekend...

2006-11-06T08:38:00.000Z

The last time I skated was around 3 months ago! I was really nervous that I wouldn't be able to ride a conrete bowl without braining myself on the coping or worse... but I had a go anyway.

It was brill!

I did manage to hang up once which catapulted me into the bowl without my ride - giving me a nasty hip bruise and also I bailed when a move went wrong and caught the board under my feet again accidently to end up smacking my body and ribs against the wall of a concrete flat bank... that one really hurt. But I'm still alive alivo! Coolio!

2 friends joined me in our 'return to skating' and the session turned out to be real hardcore rip up fest. Roll on more dry sunny Saturday afternoons...

My thoughts on bluffing

2006-10-26T11:47:00.000+01:00

In my experience (not counting semi or half bluffs) there are 3 types of bluff:-

The lying bastard bluff.
The naughty school boy bluff.
The bluffer wouldn't melt in my mouth bluff.

The LBB (lying bastard bluff)

This bluff is the most common in good poker games and probably the least common in everyday life. This bluff takes skill, and to really understand the bluff - you have to know a little bit about the bluffer and the bluffee. The bluffer - or in this case the lying git. Think about this, what has the bluffer got to gain from this outlandish lie? In poker this could mean that he or she wants to grab a few extra chips, or cripple you and is quite happy to incapacitate themselves during the story telling. That in itself is a powerful statement. Ask yourself these questions when you are thinking about bluffing:-

Is it believeable after looking at the hand history? Are you coming across as a conservative player? If yes, then this is a good bluff. If no, then you may very well be called on that alone...
Will the bluff if folded, incapacitate completely the bluffee? If this is a yes.. then be prepared to be called. If no... then this is a good time to pull the wool over their eyes.
Do you have a history? If you have been called before and found to be bluffing by the bluffee, then do not even think about bluffing!! You have a high chance of being called!! They know this, you must understand this. If your history is that you have been called and found to have a monster pocket pair or maybe a Big Slick... you are in an even money chance if the caller was the same bluffee last time (proceed with caution), and even better seated if it wasn't the bluffee who called you last time.
Do you have an element of truth in your lie? Now... a spoon full of sugar definitely makes the medicine go down... BUT NOT if the guy you are spinning lies to is a freeky deeky DOCTOR of medicine. This means that if you already have a half decent truth in your hand and believe because of position and flipped over cards - that they are on the same size hand or slightly over then this is a good time to bluff. You may get a call at first - but if you keep shovelling that crap... you may eventually stink them out and pull off a big bluff. IF however they are in position and the flop was good to them... they may call you down to the end. THIS IS A VERY BAD BLUFF... believe me - I know. Learn to spot this...Ouchy.
How do you stand against the rest of the table regarding amount of chips? Low chips mean that your bluffs are usually going to be very weak - you may have the nuts... but someone is always ready take a chance that your luck will not hold out forever... hence this is a bad time to bluff. Play with the nuts and give yourself the best opportunuity to win. Now - conversly, if you are chip leader, then your bluffs have serious weight. The bluffee may well think that you could put their whole chip stack at risk if they called. This a great time to bluff, even better if there is an element of truth about it.
How do you appear to the table? You may well have been betting high with great hands and never showing one! To you, you are playing conservatively... but to everyone else - you are a crazy lying biatch and no one so far has had the balls to call you. DO NOT BLUFF OFF THE BACK OF SEVERAL (3 or more) UNSHOWN POT TAKE DOWNS!! Golden rule that. In real life this would represent a tall athletic guy chatting up a bootilicious lady of the highest order with "I'm on a semi pro football/basket ball player" (reasonable bluff if they don't know the sport) "I am single because I can't find that special person - guess I am just a little bit to picky, but I have a son and I only want the best for him" (great bluff - but you are not looking long term here... this is a hit and run bluff) Now... so far the lady has been impressed getting quite excited. "Actually I do some work for charity since my boy has cancer" (now that is again a reasonable bluff - but there is an awful amount for her to process! You are not bigging yourself up too much) "We are planning on a trip around the world with our lottery winnings - do you fancy coming?" Right lets stop there. The bluff kept on going and people can only swallow so much shit before they get all huffy. Now move that last bluff right to the beginning... and maybe you have a uncallable bluff. If ALL the first bits of information were true but no collaborating evidence was provided... then the actual lie would be very hard to believe. Deal with it. Don't bluff unless you have been seen to be straight and truthful.

The NSBB (Naughty School Boy Bluff)

This is a school boy error... when put in a position where only an outlandish lie/bluff will save your ass... be prepared for the bluff to be called and dragged over hot coals. Do not bluff to the max on the back of another bluff which was called. If someone begins to ask questions, then there is no shame in letting everyone know that you were massaging the truth a small amount. If you continue to spin awful lies after you are called and raised then you will go down very quickly... very very quickly. There is always room for a NSBB though, and that is if the bluffee is also on a NSBB. So like school kids you continue to spin trashy truths to each other until one of you over steps the mark and then you are in trouble. You can use the NSBB... but only against itself.

The BWMMM (Bluffer Wouldn't Melt in My Mouth Bluff)

This is an artful dodge and the aim of this bluff to send many different signals trying to misdirect the truth... this being that you have the nuts... or the pits. The former is generally why we would like to use this one. The main reason is because most people will be a little talkative when building up a lie, but when trying to hide strength we go all tight lipped. It's true! So, talk and talk and nudge and grin with this bluff. Lets say we have the nuts, we know we have the opponent out of position and let's say we can only put them on a certain set, or pair or even a flush (but you have the nut flush). Right, the idea is to get information from them... because you can have fun here - the signals you pick up now, may well help you later. This of course will enrage some people. If they become angry they will begin to muster up a bluff which may end up with them all in against you. Others will smile sweetly, as they will feel comfortable that they have beaten you once you start shit talking. YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION! This information is what you need to win matches. Ok, so you want to appear weak... keep talking. Naturally we are all geared up to showing the complete opposite of what we want to show in true life so that we can pull the wool over someones eyes and lie to them. If you try to hide a good hand you will find yourself over acting weak... do not. Act as strong as you can muster - but don't make the mistake of dropping your chips in too quickly. Make sure that they see a moments hesitation first. If you are bluffing, then get your chips in quick - no hesitation! Important to remember this... I have called someones bluff based upon them dropping their chips in quickly. Infact they had a hand and was half bluffing... but the show of strength was a bluff. Interestingly they were on the button and I was short stacked... the raise callled me all-in. ALL these factors pointed towards that he had me beat... but it was because EVERYTHING was pointing this way I became suspicious. I called and won that hand.

Important to realise that we all bluff in poker and slight misdirection is accepted. If you outright talk a complete pack of lies to someone.. they will eventually begin to believe you. Anger may tip them over the edge eventually. SO, if you sense a genuine strength when trying to misdirect them... think about what they may hold once more, look suddenly beaten and ripped off.. then call or go all-in. Drop the axe.

Bluffer Cuba

Winter retreat...

2006-10-26T00:56:00.000+01:00

Hey ho people!

The last few weeks have been hecTIC! If I wasn't going first out on live poker games, I was almost being run over or winning internet tournies (WOOHOO!)... I beleive the cruel cruel god of luck (good and bad) has been keeping her eye on me for a number of years.

You see, if you 'chance it' every now and then, and you hang loose to see what happens - then you are rolling the dice of life. Yes, you can arrange the situation so that you are making a good bet - but sometimes this will go wrong. Lets take for example crossing a road. You are most likely to die from a RTA than pretty most any other accident (in this country - lol). If you don't drive then these odds reduce slighly. Well, sit on a moped and drive into traffic and your odds of becoming a splat on someones bonnet are increased somewhat. So we all take risks - yet for some they are measured (belt and braces) and for others... they are fool hardy (by the seat of their pants).

Me? I like to play on the danger side on some things, meaning that my bets are more risky but with a higher pay out. Therefore I in the long run (according to probability) will not quite cut even. BUT... to others I may appear a little lucky. The Luck She Devil... she knows my name and probably loves to mess with my head. Generally though I make conservative decsions based upon long term gains... which will even out my odds of completely screwing up! Now I sweat lots.

The Luck She Devil, yes she watches me and gives me the hits I need to keep on making those instinctive gambles, then one day.... BAM! She has me. Orrrr I live in hope that on the day she decides to concentrate on someone less fortunate... when I make a number of fantastic decisions which change my life for ever (for the good). Thats when I can sit back and grin... hands behind my head - watch the world go by with my friends and family and be content in OUR smug, safe, conservative existence.

My lotto numbers today are..... don't tempt me.

Cubastian

Weekend watch

2006-10-06T14:02:00.000+01:00

Hartcliffe (Bristol)
What a cool place! From the inside of G-man's* car, it looked like one big holiday camp without the sun/sea/sand! Picture high rise apartments and children running free with what appeared to be no malice in their innocent heads what so ever! Wow - why can't all low income, segregated ghettos be this nice? After a brief stop at the local co-operative supermarket, I fancied myself as a local. After all - I had been reffered to as "my darlin" 3 times during a transaction between myself and a rather ill looking cash register operator, and I was still breathing!

The poker game went well! After a shakey start.. my chip count started to rise above average... then down again. Of the 29 initial players I came 5th and just one place outside being paid! Lol... a good laff was had by all! At my expense... bloody card sharks!!

Roll on the good time weekend...

Wwwwicked

Bring a book

2006-10-05T08:28:00.000+01:00

How you doing? Tonight is the night, my first live open poker night with what looks to be 20 other players! I hope I can pick my way into a number of good hands and make a nuisance of myself. One thing which is niggling me at the moment is my promise that I would not play beginners any more.... I believe there will be a number of first timers at this match. They will calling all-ins with just 2 pair and seeing the flop with 8-2 unsuited in the pocket... yep, this is going to be painful. With that in mind, I shall have to be cautious at first and try to bleed my opponents on good hands, I very much doubt that many of my hands will be won by ME on the river tonight... I hate Jacks and I could very well be out early and waiting for my housemate to finish. He is a beginner.

Gary 'Jack Hater' Cuba

Turning a deaf ear

2006-10-02T08:31:00.000+01:00

Tinnitus! Yes, the word we all love to hear (oppps - or not) after enduring several hours of painfully load music in a night club or bar. My ears were ringing on Sunday after a night out dancing and drinking. I also play my MP3 player when I run, walk and sit on buses... quite loudly. All this puts me in the 'at risk' group of youngsters who are apparently damaging their hearing beyond repair....

Therefore, after not liking what I am reading on the net... I bought some cheapo ear plugs to see if this helps with the ringing... and use my MP3 player less or with less volume. If you suffer from ringing ears after going out... I suggest you follow suit. Now all I have to do is invent a cool looking ear plug and I'm a millionaire!

WICKED!!

Cuba-you-know-who

Every cloud has a nasty dark look to it

2006-10-01T22:55:00.000+01:00

Hey Blog Blaggers! The end of another weekend... looking forward to work tomorrow.

I finally manged to pick up my beast of a bike Saturday! It is bloody awesome, apart from having to break pretty sharpish once... it was injury free and enjoyment - plenty!

I am posting this entry just as I go to bed after being ejected of a poker game, coming 31st of 178. The top 17 won entry into a poker match with prizes exceeding $7,500... and eventually a possible seat at the APC finals in Goa, with a $1,000,000 prize fund. Gutted, but I will try again soon...

Cuba Gutz

Poo Wars - The last toilet stop

2006-09-29T00:41:00.000+01:00

This morning started particularily bad... but suddenly everything just got more interesting - let me explain. After having another long evening out... errrr... discussing current affairs over a glass of wine (yes, thats it... discussions...), I made it home late again, well past my bed time infact.

Anyway, to cut a long and boring story short - I was late into work again! After downing 2 mugs of strong coffee I made my way to the toilet with a big grin on my face... this bathroom call was going to be remembered and treasured by atleast the next 5 bathroom users, if you know what I mean ;-D... I know my bathroom antics are a smidge rumbustious... some may say childish - BUT WHO CARES WHAT SOME PEOPLE SAY! I entered the cubicle to find horror of horrors.... 3, yes 3 of the hugest dollops of man-facies I have ever seen, stinking up the immediate vicinity but more importantly... they were not mine.... wait! Are they man-faecies? Yes they are... definitely.....

Now, I pride myself in being able to contaminate a bathroom room with my morning after deliveries, which usually have a half life of atleast 3 hours - its a victimless crime you see. But what I saw in that big white porcelin bowl was not just poo ever so slowly swelling in brown fibrous toilet water... nooo, what I saw was competition.

Before you ask, no I didn't take a picture of it on my camera phone - what the hell do you take me for? Sheessshhh! But if you do want to see a copy of it, a guy I know actually did take a picture before I flushed it away. Bit of a coincidence that, wow.

So I sat down and added my aroma to the satuated air, the mix was infact incredibly powerful and gave me a headache. I hate headaches, especially poo propergated ones.

We have a war people... and my enemy is unknown to me. Let the battle commence.

Pooba

Pictures.... of me

2006-09-28T13:19:00.000+01:00

In your FACE file size restrictions... I WIN!!

Cubed

The wheels on the bus....

2006-09-28T09:16:00.000+01:00

Sweet schaweeeeeeet late bus. I managed to get into work 5 minutes late this morning due to no buses turning up on time. That was the first hour long commute... seriously, I could have walked if I had know... but it just makes this weekend coming - thats Scooter Weekend... all the more sweeter... heheheheheheee. YES! Oh and I won another $200 on poker last night... fast becoming my part time jobber, me babber.

Gary the Jedi

Wha-wha-WHAT!?

2006-09-27T22:58:00.001+01:00

Bo! I have been completely calm and chilled in readiness for this weekend so far... last weekend after boozing my liver half to death again... lying in a pool of self pity and a small amount of sick on the tongue - I had a chance to think again. Damn, just realised that I have left my damp laundry in the tumble drier for a week... crap.

Thinking is for chumps, and I know I am a chump....... and that is it. I have not decided to suddenly stop grilling myself, merely - I have decided to listen to everyone else a little more. You know... sheep my life up a little. So lets try it.

Cuuuubaaaa Cuuuubaaa (thats my best sheep zombie impression I'm afraid)

SNOW BUSINESS

2006-09-26T08:52:00.000+01:00

I have just realised, looking back on my blog-rantings, that I have not discussed my love for snowboarding. I know what you are thinking. That old Gary has picked up a new hobby and is now goner ram it down our throats. Well maybe, the ramming that is. It was in January of 2004 that I decided to take to snow surfing... and the time has come to organise seasons this up and coming snow adventure. Time to book some accommodation and a flight! I need ideas...

...time to call upon the 'old boarding posse', the 'grays on trays', the 'teflon coated speed freaks'.... I'll keep you informed.

Gaz

Born to be a little stupid

2006-09-25T22:48:00.000+01:00

Take a look bloggers... its my new life on the road. No more riding the kerb line and pavements on a skateboard (yeah whatever), no more parking on the road in traffic jams like some kind of chump (yeah you go Gary!)... it's time to crack heads on the proverbial car park which is know as Bristol Rush Hours... you have been warned, I no longer take prisoners. Enter the Zooooooommmmmerrrrrrrr!!

A 50cc moped with attitude (so I am told - I actually pick it up this Saturday! Sssiting!!). This mean machine promises to start every morning, use less pertol than a glider - errr gliding, and deliver me to the office in style and poise. Heheheheee.... what a dork. Ok ok ok... I'm under no illusions. There will be automobile pilots jostling for a few inches of road, readily impinging my effortless headway through the traffic. No doubt there will be pedestrians only too eager to sacrifice the odd leg, arm or head to the scooter princes of Bristol (thats me that is :-D)... but I even with all those threatening my enjoyment of my new beast, I look forward to this weekend. With a hunger... and a little dread... and just a whiff of a poo smell.

FREE RINGTONES FOR YOUR MOBILE!! Googletastic!

Killer Cuba

Myers.. you dawg!

2006-09-19T17:07:00.000+01:00

Weeee! Time to go home soon. So far so good, work is fine and life in general quite upbeat. Feeling fit and my socialable functions are operating within likeable limits. Or so I have been told. Run the Myers Briggs Typology Test this afternoon... again and I am a ENFP with strong INFP attributes too... I am getting used to that forecast now. After taking that damned test so many times, unless I am lying to myself - I am indeed what the test concludes me to be.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm try it!

Yeah, yeah, I am not just simply what the test has concluded me to be... but I have a strong tendancy to be what Myers and Briggs had predicted all those years ago. Atleast the prediction regarding becoming an Engineer was right, not so sure about the Religious Leader somehow... but it is early days.

Cubism - the God that never sleeps
We the Cubites, believe that sleeping is for the wicked. Infact your body naturally wants to rest and sleep, and what else does it want to do instinctively? YES thats right! Evil, and wicked things! So join us in our vigil to purify our bodies so that we can eventually rise to heaven as a pure soul! Our final journey to meet our saviour will be an awakened one! Remember, sleep is for the wicked.
warninginsomniamaycausedrowsinessandshouldonlybeattemptedbyadultswhodonothavealife

Pool party

2006-09-14T16:49:00.000+01:00

Hows you Blog Blaggers? I have not been writing on here much recently and wanted to keep the site all updated and stuff.

I have been getting into trouble on the evenings... staying out late and introducing myself to random people. Generally this ends up in thoughtful conversation.. but sometimes not:-

Me - "So how about that pool table eh? Eh? (drunkenly pointing towards it) The top bit is all bent up (meaning the surface is infact slanting or has a slight adverse fall to one or more of it's cushions)".
Random1 - "Yeah-yeah sh*t it does mate! It's all over there innit? (waving hand up and down, towards where most of the balls have just now congregated)"
Me - "This sucks, watch this shot... (grabs the wrong cue, and knocks a pint glass onto the floor)"
Random1 - "HAHAHAHAaaa.. oi that was my pint! F**king stupid drunk!"
Me - "HAHAHAHAAA!"
Random2 - "Girls! Are you going to play this game or what!?"
Random1 - "It's not pay by the minute dude! Chill out limp wad!"
Me - "Errrr actually it is per minute... " (casting eyes towards the clock above the bar)
Random1 - "Crap!"
Random2 - "Look do I have put you both to bed or are you going to finish your game? (hand tightening round pool cue)
Me - "Hehehehehe, he wants to put you to bed - I forgot your name sorry? Errr..."
Random2 - "Right, that's it..."

Not my finest hour... but glad I could remember it eventually.

Cubes

Mouth full of money

2006-09-08T14:49:00.000+01:00

A few good points and few bad points for today.

Bad - So far I have consumed 15units of my weekly allowance of 22units of alcohol :-C

Good - I am up by the total of $410 in online poker this from last month and this week!!

Bad - I still have not cleaned my room....

Good - Skated into work this morning, taking 15minutes!

Bad - This evening I have to skate home, this time up hill....

It's the pleasure pain thang all over again.

Have a good weekend.

Cuba

Pokerage - The age of poker

2006-09-07T13:47:00.000+01:00

It is everywhere at the moment isn't it? I'm relatively confident that even if you have never played it before, that you may have been offered a game or know someone who is playing it. It's huge! So far I have spent around 10 months on and off - gambling with friends or online. I have progressed my game but recently I have noticed my weak spots - the areas of my game which are being taken advantage of... and I am worried.

This game speaks a language which is quite common... for all intents and purposes it is an extension of your personality. My weaknesses stem from being over committed when I sense a over compensating eagerness in my opponent (a bluff!). Sometimes I misread this and get caught out. I must learn to be more observant. During the last 10 months I have found that certain skills have increased ie. being able to read a weak hand which may eventually become a monster hand, also my poker face has become stronger, less tell tale. So I can back up and put a hand down... and this is my greatest fault. I tend to be beaten off a lot of hands. Sometimes for no reason ( i feel) I hold onto my cards and call a player all the way to the river and find that they had nothing! I can't explain that - maybe it's my new force skills developing.

There is a lot about my game that I need to practice, but I do not intend on reading any poker books. I believe that reading books will only teach me methods and hints on how to play certain cards at certain times with certain types of players. I cannot see how this is going to give me an edge. I may as well continue to play my own game and develop my reads on people.

A classic read is the very quick raise, or call by an opponent. This is used to reduce the time which other players can focus on that player. This can mean:-

A monster hand for a player who wants to disguise it - badly. In which case re-raise, to see where you are.
A crap to average hand for a player who wants you to think that they have something better. In which case make sure that you have something good, and call/check (let them bury themsleves), or simply re-raise large enough to bluff them off the pot.
A player chasing a flush/straight/set. If you can see this coming, then you can really take them to the cleaners. If you have the nut flush/straight already, then milk them for everything. If you have a decent hand which can only be beaten by what they are chasing... then raise a large one! Get them off, or get them committed. If the flush/straight does not turn up... you have them buried.

I have loads to learn.... wish me luck.

Red Bull - Lifes cancer.

2006-09-07T13:18:00.000+01:00

Hey there! It's been a week or so and lots has happened, hold onto your skirts:-

Managed to make it back to 'Homeland' over last weekend. Twas super, played a bit of golf (hehehe I said played golf - of course I meant golf ball hunting), also I was able to see my family and lounge around a little.
Started my new job - the usual forms to fill out, induction, introductions yadda yadda. So far I have been using the bus in the mornings (30mins)... may try to skate commute tomorrow (lightspeed - will be there before I left).
Footie went well! We lost, but we were playing well between ourselves. We may very well win another game soon... I get knock down, I get knocked down, I get knocked down - but I get back up again, you are never going to keep me down... I....
Thought about doing some decorating in my room (yes thought), and decided just to clean it up a bit. I may put up some posters and stuff.
Got my eye on a nice camera at the moment... can I bring myself to buy it? Maybe I should just buy another digi compact camera? Grumble grumble grumble
Decided to start creating my monster skate vid. It will include lots of pictures of my skate/bike buddies doing their thang...

Wow, there is an awful lot on my to do list again. A curse on laziness!!

Get lost you!

Cuba

Monkey business

2006-08-30T14:20:00.000+01:00

I had a late late night last night. No my fault... just how things turned out I'm affraid.

Returning home with my tail between my legs after yet another drubbing at the hands of a youthful 5 a side football team, I chilled out with my house mates and caught up with their weekends happenings. Generally everyone seemed quite optimistic that this coming weekend was going to be more eventful.

I finally decided to retire to my room about 11pm and switched on my computer to quickly download any emails and maybe just play a quick hand or two of poker (as you do). Email was erratic, and my internet connection kept timming out - but I got all my new messages through. Then I sparked up my poker software and challenged a table full of Turkish and American amateur poker players.... ok it was 200 of them:-

The computer screen loaded up the first of 20 tables - announcing my arrival and the first hand was delt to me. I looked good for the first hand.. a pair of jacks, not bad. Firmly I made the first raise of the hand and quickly the computer timed me out and ejected me out of the hand. DARN!

After restarting my computer - the software loaded up once more and I was just a large blind and my raise down from my initial stack of chips... as expected. Amazingly though, 23 players had already been knocked out! I was in the last 177. I checked the 'i'm back' button and the room crashed... this time I managed to re-load up the room with only a small blind lost. Still I looked good, I was in the last 169 and only just under the average stack.

Feeling a little stressed I gingerly pressed the 'i'm back' (IMB) button and the cards began to fly around the table, this time I had low unsuited connectors. Fold.

Then it crashed again. Screwing up my face and raming my forehead with my fist, I went about restarting my machine another time. I had lost no chips but was next inline for the large blind and had pocket queens!! Oh yes... taking this pocket pair to the bank baby! Crash. F*%$£%* F*&£$%%!!

Ok, ok, calm down. By the time i had managed to reconnect to the room I had lost another big and small blind. 35 minutes had passed and I had not played a single hand, also I had lost 300 chips from a starting 1500... the average being just over 2000. I think I was about 139th. A 5 minute dealer break began as I was loading up the room again. Crash.

After screaming like a monkey for a few moments, I began dancing like one whilst mashing the keyboard in some vain attempt to speed up the recovery of my poker room screen... O-O-O-A-A-AAAAAAA!

After 15 minutes of not being able to connect, I eventually caught glimpse of my progress, 700 chips and in the top 120! Stuff it, I pressed 'All-in' in the hope that I may win enough chips to keep my enforced folding action going - CRASH! AAAAA-OOO-O-A-O-o-O? AAAAAARRRGGGGHH!!

Once again I connected and managed to go 'all-in' with a 3 and a 5 unsuited, 550 chips and lost. Thank f*%$ for that.....

Now begins the painful journey into understanding wireless networking and trouble shooting...

Monkey-Cuba

Wrinkly winker

2006-08-27T11:25:00.000+01:00

The morning after. It took me a while to get out of bed this morning, a few beers with my family and a friends in my home town. I met for the first time my neice and god daughter too! Very cute little girl... and apart from the constant wriggling and winking at me, she was fairly quiet too! Awesome!

After dragging a few of the locals out for a beer, we all ended up speaking the drunken language later on - not making much sense and really annoying anyone sober. Serves them right.

Managed to of load at least £10 into a quiz machine, before I realised that in fact I am not the brain of Britain and booze makes me even less so. I would like to believe that I have learned a lesson there... hmmmmm.

Much more drink and many more embarrassing conversations later we all were eventually chucked out of the pub.

Signing off...

Touchdown

2006-08-26T19:14:00.000+01:00

Well, I got back to my home county safe enough, if only a litle bit later than expected.

Last evenings poker game was quite eventful! It was the first time I had seen Collie win a match and a much deserved win it was... even though it was at the expense of myself who came second once again. Clawing my way back from only having a big blind to bet was my own personal highlight. Proper BO! I tell thee!

My house mates joined in for this particular round, one of them quite an accomplished shit-talker! He was ruffling feathers and sending all kinds of tell tales and wrong signals - LOL. It was exciting.

Cuba

We are who we are....who are you?

2006-08-24T12:48:00.000+01:00

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn3713

This interesting (if some what short article) was found in The New Scientist written in 2003. I had no idea that the biologically accepted age limit for personality change was 30 years. Further studies have suggested that this is no longer the case. We are talking about a socially adept person whose personality changes to complement the surrounding environment. Maybe 'changes' is a harsh word - how about, 'is sympathetic to the surrounding environment'? The article presensents to us that we infact are in control of the way we choose to grow, and how our Big 5 (http://wallaby.wmin.ac.uk/cgi-bin/buchant/wwwffi/wwwffi1a.pl) is affected by our age.

I like the thought that we are all still able to adapt and redefine ourselves on a continous basis...

24-23-31-26-25 Thats me!

You can't keep a good blogger down!

2006-08-23T13:47:00.000+01:00

Hey, so this is what happened over the weekend and week so far. Nothing too exciting yet...

Friday saw me and 7 other pokerettes play a massive game of Texas Holdem. The stakes were average for us (£10) and the blind raising was vicious. We had a winner at 12pm again, it was not me though - I fell at the final hurdle after calling an all-in then loosing the head to head on the river. Remember the card - a JACK! I really do hate jacks. They should leave jacks out of the deck... (good news is that I doubled my stake!) Yipeeeeeee boink... back down to Earth.

Saturday saw me shopping with my house mate for a car... my prolonged and repeated efforts to convince him to buy a Porsche or atleast a Mercedes were in vain - he had his heart set on a VW Polo. Bless. A gay blue one. Bless.

Later on I managed to cook up a HOT chilli and all the house went out for a few drinks, and a few more drinks and yes I blew my 22 units again... only by 5 units though! Still feeling good about my move to reduce my alcohol intake. Oh yeah, the city centre is now rife with stag and hen parties. So far the best group were superhero costumes. No Spiderman though - for shame....

Sunday was incredibly unproductive, I managed for the 3rd time this year to laze around in my bath robe all day and not change. Hmmmm soooo lazy....

Football on Tuesday was agony, on and off the pitch. We lost miserably and one of the opponents team was called Jack. I hate jacks.

So how is the week panning out? Welllll, I have an exciting Friday planned - POKER (a trend is forming) and socialising, then a flight back to my homeland to see my family and friends. BIG BIG weekend of catching up.

Before I sign this entry off though - I have been thinking of a poker nickname for myself. I am a little loose sometimes and also I like to play the odd mind game. so maybe I could be Jedi Cuba? Or Gary 'the Jedi' Cuba? It's a bit egotistical to give myself a nickname so ... I should tease it into the games. HMMmm you seek a flush, yes? E-he-he-heee... When chasing a flush you not reach, look as good as my pair of 5's you will not e-he-he-he-he.... I just hope that they don't start calling me Yoda-Cuba.

SEXY

Cub-a-RAAAAaaaaaa

Midweek update

2006-08-16T15:59:00.000+01:00

We won!! Yes, our first win in 5-a-side football for Napalm Mucker Ho FC... well happy. We thrashed the opposition 10-5, with Al* playing out of his skin and my housemate and our new goalkeeper doing a great job!

Afterwards I had 1 unit in the form of a shandy - pretty good eh? My weekend is looking like a non-sober one. Over the moon.

Ok that leaves me to sort out my car bumper, my new jobs contract documents, the house bills, the hoovering, blah blah blah blah blah blah......

*Al - New footie player and poker buddy.

Weekend over.. and out.

2006-08-14T15:22:00.000+01:00

I had a fine weekend actually, place aside the non-eventful Friday, forget loosing at poker on Saturday and ignore spending 4 hours trying to finely tune our households new wireless network with my housey. All in all, a lot had been accomplished. I even managed a midnight skate on Saturday... awesome!

Alcohol units last week:- I scored 23 out of the recommended 22. Not bad, and to be fair an awful lot happened during the week to cause celebration.

This weeks target is 10 again with 12 at the weekend.Let us hope I manage to keep to the limit this time...

WhoooBA-CUBA

Saturday.. and its still morning!!

2006-08-12T12:42:00.000+01:00

One of the first times in which I stayed in all night on a Friday, inevitably lead to a nice long sleep and woke up fresh in the morning. So I grabbed my football and headed on to the Downs with my house mate. Got dog shit on my combat trousers and went home.

I have decided that I hate dog owners. Dogs are fine poo'ing every where - but the owners need to be taught a lesson or two.

Pooba

The Napalm Mucker Ho's - Game On!

2006-08-11T15:10:00.000+01:00

This blog entry is dedicated to the members of the Napalm Mucker Ho Football Club (NMHFP), a 5-a-side soccer team playing in the Filton PRO5 Tuesday League.

After training hard and hunting down the very best from my work place and friends of work colleagues, we entered the cage fight - that 5-a-side football.

July 25th
Our first game was against SUB'REF'. Everyone was pretty nervous and shaky to start with - but we began stringing some passes together after going 2 goals down in 10minutes. When we began stuffing a few goals away oursleves we led 6-3! It was looking like an awesome start to our season... until our fitness failed us of course. Eventually with 5mins of the second half left we found ourselves 9-7 down and looking pretty knackered. I managed to put us to within one goal of a draw with 2 mins to go after a series of neat passing from our inexperienced team. With only seconds to go, a ball was fed directly to my feet infront of goal and the keeper charged out and began to slide toawrds my legs, a quick side step and a side footed pass into the back of the net drew us level. The whistle blew! Our first game and a single point, everyone was incredibly happy and looking forward to next week. Players were:- Me, Rich, RobA, RobB, Matt, Andy and Tim. Pro5 Man of the match - Me, Players Man of the Match - Tim.

August 1st
We played Dirty Old Town for our second game and found ourselves 5-0 down in around 7mins. It was torture. We managed to pull 3 goals back by half time (20mins) and the score stood at 6-3 to the opposition. Never had I seen such a dirty game! They were pushing us against the walls, chasing us into corners and bouncing us off the floor. Quite simply they wanted the win an were happy to bully us into submission. Tim gave as good as he got and scored 2 goals to boot! After an embarrassing 40mins of football we ended up loosing 4-13. Players were:- Me, Rich, RobA, RobB,Matt,Andy, and Tim. Players Man of the Match - Tim and Rich.

August 8th
With RobH out injured and our solid performer Tim gone also, we looked for more players and found 3 new ones! Our 3rd game was between us and the current divsion leaders Not Very Athletic. I kind of hoped that since the last team were named Dirty Old Town.. and they played dirty... would mean that Not Very Athletic were going to be not very athletic and fat. Again we had 5 goals go past us in around 6mins, after tightening up our marking we survived the rest of the first half without conceeding anymore and scoring 2 ourselves. 5-2 to the oppo after 20mins. The 2nd half began badly and we went behind another 4 goals in around 4mins, our marking completely loose and innafective. We managed rescue some pride with another 5mins of not conceeding and scoring 2 more ourselves. Our new man Dave sticking away 2 cool, calm and collected goals under pressure. The score was 9-4 to the oppo. Then for the remaining time we marked well, but allowed them to shoot from everywhere and anywhere. They romped home the winners with a massive 15 goals to our 4. Rich, our goal keeper - very annoyed and helpless against the onslaught of shots. Time to talk tactics. Players were:-Me, Rich, RobA, Matt, Andy, Dave, Ben and Tom. Pro5 Man of the Match - Rich, Players Man of the Match - Me.

We train on Monday...

Cubes

New day, new dawn...

2006-08-10T09:41:00.000+01:00

Last evening, when returning home I found the letter that I had been waiting for on my door mat - a week early. After sweating a little bit, I decided to open it and see if I had passed my professional exam... and thank F#@* I DID!

Not going to mean much to most of you, but I am now a professionally qualified Engineer for my troubles. I celebrated last night with my house mates by drinking another 2 units of alcohol! Leaving me with 1 unit left for the week - this equates to a pint of lager-shandy.... or a glass of bubbly! I will use it wisely.

CUBA!! Ariba ariba!!

Keeping it real!

2006-08-09T11:59:00.000+01:00

Sorry for boring the pants off of you but its a Big Brother Special...

Nominated this week are Richard and Imogen.

I must admit to not really keeping tabs on this past week but watched with glee as the previously evicted 4 housemates (Mikey, Nicky, Grace and Lea) were all reinstated into the BB household (albeit the house next door). I have however been watching and spitting at the nominations being made! How on this God's earth is Aisleyne still in the house?

The only person who knows what is going on is Richard, but unfortunately for him - no one will listen as they all seem to mistrust his rantings regarding her and anyone else. So for all his helpful hints and the odd prod and poke at her... the remaining stupid housemates remain... well... stupid.

It is true that she (meaning Aisleyne) has been through an awful lot in the BB house, resulting in almost a nervous breakdown from what I can make out... if it were anyone else, they surely would have gone crazy and gotten themselves picked upon and eventually evicted. As far as I can read, the remaining house mates have seen both the worst and the very worst of Aisleyne, yet they still seem to forgive her. Make no mistake this lady is very strong, all the evidence point towards her having a strong, willful personality with high machiavellian tendancies. Even the letter form her father had an under current of coded meaning and intelligence.

I think that she will go far, her artful deception has only been challenged by Richards 'reality check' type comments... and at this point in the game it appears to be a war that Aisleyne is winning. Lets hope that Richard stays in to continue this compelling duel... finally can we all remember that as the next housemate is being evicted on friday... a new one will be coming in - holding an awful amount of dirt on our resident Valkyrie... let the battle commence.

I drunk another single unit of alcohol last night, bring my total up to 7... boy-oh-boy-oh-boy...

Cuba

141hours and 25minutes left.....

The Countdown

2006-08-08T09:30:00.000+01:00

Hi Blog Blaggers, I wish to add in also another counter along with the units of alcohol which I have consumed... and this is a final countdown to receiving my professional exam results in the post. They will be sent out on the 14th August (next Monday), I should receive them the next day. Wish me luck...

170hours and 37minutes left

TENNER

2006-08-08T09:00:00.000+01:00

I came to a decision over the weekend... I shall reduce my weekly alcohol intake to no more than 10 units. For your information this equates to 5 pints of lager/beer/cider or 5 glasses of wine (a bottle) or 5 spirit measures or a mixture of the above! According to doctors, the safe limit for men is infact 21 units (no more than 4 units a day)... so, feeling very smug with my health , general well being and liver looking safe for a while I headed on into the week.

Sunday
No alcohol

Monday
The drunken Gods are against me, I ordered a round of drinks which included a pint of cider for me in Alter Ego (White Ladies Road), not normally a problem, but on Monday they have this perverse promotion where once you have orderd your round of drinks - you can then toss a coin with the bar man. If you guess the flip correctly, then you recieve the same round again - free of charge. Yes... free of charge. So my house mate Rudolf* guessed the toss and we won, add to that a pint of cider before we entered the bar... and I have blown 6 units in one night (which according to doctors is a bad thing). The rest of week looks pretty sober now.

Oh well, not really planned anything this weekend anyways...

Sober-Cuba

*Rudolf - is my house mate, but this is not his real name. I have changed it to protect the innocent.

HOUSESHARE in CLIFTON - 2 professionals needed

2006-07-19T15:40:00.000+01:00

Don't worry everyone, this is not an advertisement, I have already found my new house mates.

Blow job

Not so long ago, both my housemates announced thier plans to move out from the shared house by the end of July. Splitting up an almost 2 year old relationship... but onwards and upwards and all that jizz. so I began to advertise.

I initially thought that this mission to find 2 like mined professionals to share my home for the past 2 years with was going to be a great laff. *cut to Frosties advert and.. "it's going to be great, it's going to taste great!"

Of course I found out how potentially stressing this whole situation was - the hard way... by relying on the good nature of strangers....

It is because of this experience that I have tried to help you (the blog blagger) out with tips on advertising, interviewing and eventually choosing housemates for your houseshare home:-

The first and golden rule which everyone has heard of yet never still seem to pay attention or really believe in it - Never move in with a friend/mate. Generally your expectations are that much higher for your friends... they are supposed to really understand what upsets and pleases you after all. You will forgive absolute strangers the most unforgiveable things and hence learn to live with thier little idiosyncrasies (laziness) e.g. not taking out the trash, not cleaning toilet skid marks, walking around semi-naked whilst your parents visit etc. etc.
Advertise early. always give yourself plenty of time to choose and interview potential housmates. This allows you the time to mull over the short list and worry yourself crazy, invading your sleep, work and causing stress. Second thoughts, don't advertise. Just ask at work and choose the first desperate person you come across.
Interview them like you genuinely wish to know what makes them tick. Ask them lots of silly questions, for example, do you like to clean and dust in the nude? Or, do you like clean and dust? Or finish em off with simply, do you clean? Pause, then vigoursly record their response on your imaginary note book on your lap - under the table out of view.
Finally choosing the house mate and potential best mate. If they have not already run a mile, then this is a good sign. This means that they are a real push over and will generally fold in any argument where you cry or throw a Nicky* like paddy. Sign em up. Also, for the record - it would never hurt to keep texting that hotty who declined the houseshare to see if hell is any closer to being forzen over. The first signs of hell begining to cool off and believe it... you are in there!!

*Nicky from Big Brother... sorry

Cubes

Killer karma

2006-07-10T22:44:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since I wrote on here... I will try and be less lazy in future.

Crazy shit that has happened I since the last time:-

Found a great way to release tension - brought myself a gym. Unfortunately I needed a good 3 months of heavy weights to build enough strength just to assemble the damn thing. Cheers to Augustus for helping out a man in need.
Downloaded a Beach Boys album - it's so naff that I nearly ripped out my hard drive trying to rid my ears of the fowl stench of music coming from the computer speakers. DIE DIE DIE!!
I completed the 3 peaks challenge! Yes, I spent 24hours of my life chilling on the side of GB's 3 tallest peaks! If you believe that - then you'll believe anything. I was shivering and in pain. I had a great time.
Not many odd encounters with girls... which in itself is crazy shit. Especially if you know me that is. It's a matter of normailty for me to find the oddest, most fantasictically funny encounters (sketches is a better word) with girls ever... the weeks not over yet. Stay tuned.
Again, not entirely crazy this, but worth a mention. IF ANY OF YOU BOY RACERS DECIDE TO FOLLOW ME AROUND A ROUNDABOUT (3 TIMES) BEEPING YOUR HORN AND MAKING RUDE GESTERS, THEN BE PREPARED TO REALLY UPSET ME. Damn, I was so upset that I very nearly went to bed without properly moisturising my face AND neck. That kind of behaviour will not be tolerated.

Ok, thats it for now. Oh, and finally - if you were out on a stag do in Birmingham 3 weeks ago and stole a guys cowboy hat (because you were blind drunk, and exhibiting the signs of premature baldness) then go **** yourself... I loved that hat - it came to NZ with me. Git.

Cuba signing off for another night... x

Skank Sessions - now in session...

2006-03-05T22:11:00.000Z

Hey Bloggers.

Just finished a packed weekend full of skating, beering and pretty interesting chat (photos coming soon...). It all started on Friday, my very good chum (and stand up fellow) Dr T* and I managed to cram in a wonderfully presented, home made casserole before taking to the mean streets of Brissle in search of a drunken adventure... and ended up a bit worse for wear. Been planning to go to a skate jam on the Saturday for a while, so waking up still drunk, tired and hungover was not the best of starts.

First stop - Hengroove. Dr T, Sunny D* and I decided that our pre-jam jam would see us warming up in chav-city central - and so begins the Skank Session. More my idea, I'm afraid to say. I kinda got bored and skanked a few tricks from my buddies - much to their disgust. Merrily shouting "SKANKED!" everytime I hit up one of their favoured ones. I must admit... I was having much fun with this - until I managed to pre-empt the stomping of a trick particularily favoured by Dr T and arsed it up. Needless to say - I received no help in exiting the bowl with a bad case of ankle bite. Karma... as Sunny D would say, I just call it rotten luck ol' chap, and a wicked turn of events - what?

More about this weekend to come soon....

Dr T* A charming fellow. He has natural MC'ing skills which, in combination with his high moral standing and consideration for others, makes him a very unique personality.

Sunny D* Easy going, archetypal surf dude. Skates with commitment and parties like its 1999.

Cubes

The mirror....

2006-02-19T23:52:00.000Z

Sorry Bloggers... I have just come over all incredibly reflective and am not enjoying the reverb.

Here comes one of those nasty bottle necks of emotion and regret - a list of things which are currently vexing me:-

All the things that you wish you could have said to someone when it mattered to them.
Hatred of my poor judgement - then disgust at my innability to act in a timely fashion.
Fear... fear of this whole damn shooting match when things are not going according to plan!
There is a plan!!??!!
Seeing my weaknesses in others around me and not being able to act upon this - do myself a favour,
Anger, currently I am experiencing an awful amount to anger.
My distrust, unforgiveness, and lack of humanity.

... it is odd that when - in a time of my life where i feel that I have made some progress and I am finally making good on the bullshit that I have been self feeding on... I get an attack of the "I'm worthless", again. I need a good nights sleep - I think.

Cuba :-(

The Jukebox - insert 20p please

2006-02-19T17:20:00.000Z

I have been skating like my life depended on it lately, and it occurred to me - maybe there is more to life (honestly). So lets check out the music I have been listening to try and work out whats going on...

The Cubic Mix 1

Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode Remixed 1989. Ah, well, this track was introduced to me by a friend - pretty new wave and electronica... I think the outlook is good if I am spinning this one on my MP3 player.
Honest Mistake - The Bravery. Great track, great album. Always gets me going - these boys rock and I will always find space on my meager hdd for a track of theirs.
You only live once - The Strokes. Seedy guitar... great vocals - real good fun and pushes me deep into my skating head. No problems here.
Juicebox - The Strokes. Of course this will be the next track on my MP3 player! Wakes me up and gets the juices going.
Break stuff - Limp Bizkit. Heheheheheheheheeeeee... swearing and shit, bite me.
Eat me alive - Limp Bizkit. A bit more melody to this track and welcome heavy body rocking thrash. Its good you hear?
Another great escape - King Prawn. My goodness... this gets me ollie'ing a good few inches higher than usual, pushing and pumping harder... the world becomes a blurr and I am the only one skating in the park. BOOM!
I feel the love - Flip and Fill. Proper cruising with energy now... uplifting dance/trance special.

Looking at the above music line.. nothings seems out of order - I check out ok. Time for another skate (when it drys out a little anyway).

Cuba x

Lazarus

2005-12-26T17:34:00.000Z

Hi Bloggers. I shall not taint this miraculous resurrection of my blog site with insincere apologies about how selfish I have been by not filling you all in on my comings and goings, for the following reasons:-

I HAVE been writing on the page - just not publishing... don't be so demanding!
Instead of reading about my sad little life... get one of your own. One where you can bitch about how rude 'other' people are and invent reasons for why your boss doesn't like you rather than face the truth and accept that we can all be jerks every now and then. Embrace it!
Yadda yadda yadda (fill in the blanks... )

It takes time to apologise too.... you know, properly.... Enjoy the rest

Earth to Internet Space Demons - over and out.

You still here?

2005-08-31T12:25:00.000+01:00

Hi Blog Blaggers... you still here? ;-D

It has been a very very busy few months, and my desire to update my site has been retarded by the shear amount of anecdotes available to me... BOOOoooooo!!

So here resides my bid for anecdotial freedom:-

The grass is always worth two in a bush when crying over spilt milk.
This simply means be thankful for what you have, hold onto what you love and if it all goes wrong - don't blame me you shit.

He who laughs last counts their chickens, is another mans gain.
Means, thinking that you are on top of a situation means generally you have misread a situation and there are plenty of people available to take advantage of that particular mistake. No, not cynical - just being helpful.

Ok ok.. not so much anecdotes than proverbs. Wise up wise ass and read between the lines.

Cu-who?

Hi this is Divina... I'm coming to get you!!

2005-07-25T22:43:00.000+01:00

Hi Bloggers. Its time to comment on Big Brother once more (please return to your net surfing if human nature bores you).

I have not really watched an awful amount of this series.. they all seem to comprise the same basic ingredients and the house mates evolve slightly from one year to the next. One subject which always has been extremely contentious both inside and outside the house is the question of being true to ones self.. or to put it other words - being themselves...

We all appear to have a huge respect for house mates who can just be themselves.. I have a question though. Who are we to know what motivates these characters? How do we know what we are seeing is the real personality and what is a act to get attention? To get closer to an acceptable answer lets look at a few conclusions which can be drawn. Firstly - the contestants will be thrown into the lime light.. this is a home truth. The organisers will surely only allow contestants who will stand up to the abuse and interview within acceptable limits. This rules most of us out from the start. Secondly - each contestnt must be able to bring a certain 'something' to the show. This could be as basic as being able to cook well for a large group.. or as complicated as being able to articulate dissatisfaction through swearing - rather than stabbing people for using the loo too often... ( I'm pretty sure that never happened.. must have dreamt it.)

In a nut shell, none of this matters to us, as viewers. We want to see the real people. We are dissappointed when a favourite house mate turns out to be just a big bully, we can empathise with the contestants who are most like ourselves - then be completely confused when they hailed by the media and public to be f**kwits. Amusingly we want to see disjointed behaviour, arguments, bust ups, nastiness.. BUT only if the outcome is that we get to see the real person behind the angry red faces and broken crockery. The art is to stand up for your beliefs... have plenty of them and never ever force them on others. Allow others make their own judgements and have fun with that.

Cubastica- CA-CA-KAAAAaaaa!!

Transmogrification

2005-07-01T13:49:00.000+01:00

No I did not make that word up! If you do not know its meaning then shame on you! Back to play school and this time learn - dammit!!

The process of changing completely.. but in the context of this Blog.. I mean ourselves. The biggest badest example of this known to the science fiction community (and us Blog Blaggers!) is of course Doctor Who. Or to put it more concisely, when the good Doctor changes into his next physical form.. this is Transmogrification. You dig?

We must be allowed to change. Around us exist the notion that change is too unpredictable, change is unreliable... society is telling us that changing for the sake of changing is wrong. I want to talk about this change for no reason. I do not wish to put this subject of change in any kind of context - this bores me. If you choose to draw a kind of relation to it with me having to describe a situation where it may arise... then I have done quite well.

Change - brings about new challenges. If this change happens to be yourself, and your attitude, or your behaviour... then this is a new challenge within yourself. What can be simpler? The constant attacking and asking questions of your very own motives and ideas are the actions of a person wanting to grow and explore, looking at each new encounter in wonder and trying to learn from them. Maybe the 'complete' change is not adviseable to us - at this time, but flirting with the idea that we can alter mood, personality, outlook, and disposition surely will keep us and others around us from getting too bored.

Peace.

Happy Monthday!!

2005-06-23T00:31:00.000+01:00

My blog site is now officially 1 month old.. has it only been that long? Lol.. its seems like longer - right? Breasts !!*

Just recently, I have been making use of this wonderful weather and skating into work. I recommend it to anyone - blasting along the pavement, weaving in and out of pedestrians and workmen... you just can't beat it. ;-D

I have been a bit reclusive this past few weeks and plan on lighting the blue touch paper under my social life again this weekend... and in the meantime I will hunt out some juicy gossip for a Blog later this afternoon. Look forward to that....

Ok... I'm finished updating- get lost.

*Breasts... again please read the previous two Blogs.

"Book'em Danno"

2005-06-16T22:55:00.000+01:00

Just the other day.. earlier on in the week, my normal homeward bound journey was made a little more exciting. Upon reaching the top of Blackboy Hill, I was confronted with lots of police, a car blanced on its roof and the resulting tail back of traffic. Question. Does anyone know what this was all about?

I did kinda assume that this was a staged event for the filming of CASUALTY! There seemed to be no petrol spillage, no one running around crazed with bleeding head wounds... maybe this was just a stunt. If anyone can tell me what happened.. then I will be very appreciative... may even buy them a pint. Steady now...aye.

This brings me smartly to my real point. I wanna be a TV star! I live with a couple of guys in a fantastic house.. we have an ace roof terrace. The scene is set...(wavy soft dissolve to several guys and gals on the roof top having a BBQ)...

LESBIAN *

I'm thinking a lot of music, booze, food, girls, guys.. and also me.. maybe balancing on the roof edge? Of course you get cool shots of the Brissol skyline and a a great scene where I dive head first into a neighbours car. Fantastic!! Orrr.. NO! We can get a mini ramp up on the roof and organise an impromtu skate and booze sesh! Culminating in me over shooting the ramp coping and hurtling to my doom.. with a gnarly crazed look on my face - SLAM!

Yep.. thats the one.. if there are any Casualty script writers out there.. drop me a message..

Peace.

*LESBIAN.. read the blog below.

Google Gootastic!!

2005-06-14T00:50:00.000+01:00

Hey Blog Blaggers. Over the last few weeks I have written to Google™, I have reposted my blogspot and attached a few links to increase its chances of being noticed. Finally after all my hard nagging.. its here!! Yes, you too can now find my site with increased effectiveness through my clever use of keywords... SO...please forgive me if I suddenly type odd words within my blogs to draw more attention to it. I shall warn you by entering them LIKE THIS. This is when you can recognise my media whorishness (is that word? It is now), and look away :-D SEX !!

Creative Interlude III

2005-06-10T16:46:00.000+01:00

The Garden of Confusion

I have found my happy place it has spoken to me,
My mind now calm, comfortable, complacent and free.
Turmoil and pain are a far distant memory,
Construction of this womb is my soft garden of serenity.

Delusion, confusion are what have caused me to flee,
Not to know, to judge, to react and finally forget how to see.
My thoughts are lost, not to understand, incarceration of serendipity,
The womb is my prison; this warm fuzzy feeling; it is killing me.

Cubes 2005©

EARTH! FIRE! WATER! WIND!...parrrrrp...

2005-06-10T00:50:00.000+01:00

Hi Blog Blaggers... the weekend is upon us once again! Yay!! This weekned will see me getting happily drunk tonight in Mbargo's with my extreme sports buddy, then quite possibly some good old chill out and recoup for the rest of my free time... mmmm... sooo lazzzy..

Of course crusin down Whiteladies road,whilst still hungover is mandatory on a Saturday... watch out pedestrians... (look out for drunk boy with sunglasses on a skateboard).

Peace.

Astrology
No - it is not a swear word. I feel that this part of my life has been neglected. Please join me in a brief whistle stop tour of the black art we call Star Sign Astrology.... mmwaaha ha ha haaaa.

I have been able to identify my star sign, element, symbol etc etc.. and some of it bothers me. It feels a little too precise. The results, alarmingly, I can identify with. So.. I checked out my nearest and dearest too. My conclusions are as follows....

The fact that I can identify with it means that so can everyone else. The fact that everyone in some shape or form can do this, is in how each description and comparison is written. Clever use of objectively and subjectively flavoured extracts. It kinda pulls you in and teases you, allowing you to see what you need to see. Fire signs who are impulsive and energetic, earth signs - grounded and career driven.. then you can attach a chinese symbol and element and suddenly you are a fire breathing water ox! What the fook!? I like the idea, I like that it holds up a mirror and forces you to say "Yeah, I do love it when my partner does that" or "Thats why we never got along...", then finally.. it forces you to see your strengths and weaknesses and how they may be accentuated or reserved. I really really do like that. SO here we are a water ox in a china shop and a tiger uppercut later... we are sitting on our bottom, wondering if all this mumbo jumbo was actually worth understanding at all. Let me say that anything which forces you to just sneak a peak at the real you - your wants, desires, needs, the things which get you mad... how can this ever be a waste of time? Next time some one holds up the proverbial mirror and invites you to have a gander... do it... but next time, take your time, look close and try and see what everyone else does. You are an ulgy muther... enjoy.